Reflections...

The sun is coming up here in Ireland....I am having a glass of tea, and watching the sky change color...at this very moment, its a bit pink and dusty....and always changing, soon it will be a steel blue with not a cloud in the sky.  That is how a lot of mornings have started out here...honestly the weather hasn't been to bad.  I am thankful it hasn't rained every day.  On this quiet morning, two days before I head home for Maine, I can't help but reflect on my time here.  3 months ago I got here, after what seemed like endless travel, and I honestly thought I wasn't going to make it.  I definitely had moments of self doubt.  Why had I come here, why did I leave my husband and family...my farm animals and pets?  I considered going home early.  Then I would think about it and the guilt and self doubt would start all over again. What would people say if I came home early and worse than that, what would I say about myself.  Well thinking about it now, having stayed for the duration, I am sure I would have said a lot of swear words...I didn't give in to the blinding homesickness or the worry about the things getting done in my absence.  I simply needed to let go and think about myself and how much this experience was going to change me.  All in a good way mind...

Lets just say this, it hasn't been a bed of roses the whole time.  I have made some incredible friends though, and that makes up for all the wackyness I had to experience.  Aside from the young Irish peoples antics, I have gotten to see an incredible country, and talk to some wonderful folks.  I have seen things, I thought I would only see in pictures on the internet.  The vistas and scenery here are indescribable sometimes, breathtaking and slightly overwhelming.  Ireland is a very romantic country, where I am sure the legends and fairy tales are true.  I have found my sight and openness to be affected, and honestly believe I have seen the little people.  As it rolls on to the last days of my adventure here, I am torn between wanting so badly to go home to see Frank and staying here and never leaving.  I can see myself living in a tiny cottage with fields surrounded by beautiful stone walls, farming to my hearts content, drinking tea and hooking the cart to the horse to head to the pub for a pint.  I have set aside a little place in my brain and heart for this trip, simply because it has been so amazing.  I know I will come back with Frank to stay for a vacation, to show him what I have seen and go adventuring to new places with him.  How could I not come back, its like this place is part of me now.  I have an Irish Fairy godmother...who I will never forget, thank the sweet baby jesus there is internet and emails, because I am not sure how I would go on without being able to chat with her now.  I only wish I had more time with her.  I am so incredibly thankful that our advisor said, hey there is a beer class you can take....forever changed my life it did..oh and I learned a ton to...So all in all this whole 3 months has been simply incredible....I won't say goodbye Ireland, I will simply say see you soon...because I won't be gone forever.  

Academic and Personal Excellence.....On the brink of my own discovery!

Lets start this blog with the fact that up until very recently, I was not the best student.  I have never been formally tested for a learning disability.  I do however believe that I am one of those students that does not excel, in the normal, status quo learning environment.  I am a tactile learner, I like to touch things and feel the process of learning....I think this is one of the reasons I have excelled at cooking.  Why I am a passionate gardener, love to draw and being a farmer and working with animals is such a comfort to my psyche.  I really enjoy doing things with my hands.  The reasoning behind this blog is mostly because in the past few years I have been nothing but successful.  In all forms of my educational adventure.  Meaning that not only have I gotten exceptional grades, but I have learned life lessons in the process of getting those grades. Teaching is a very honorable profession.  I honestly believe that one day this will be my very own destiny and I hope to make an impact on my students in the way that the teachers that I can look back upon have impacted my life and education.  My former educational years were very much a struggle for me. Looking back at it now, I don't honestly have much memory of anything good....Its very sad.  I had very low self esteem, I was bullied and teased.  I didn't get the best grades and I passed most of my classes by the skin of my teeth.  So looking back, I have to wonder if I would have been better off, being home schooled or put into a different type of learning environment?  Then the next question might be,  where I might be today instead of where I am.  At this point I wouldn't want to be anywhere else honestly.  I know one thing for sure, I want to continue on with educating myself on lots of different subject, in the hopes that I can share with others who are interested in those same subjects.  See it seems to me that you must have a passion for anything that you do in life.  Your passions must motivate you to excel.  I believe that certain people will come into your life to show you the way to achieve your goals, and honestly it hasn't been till the very recent part of my life that those people have come forward.  This again brings me to the thought of "What if"....What if those people had been present in my very young life?  Yet the past is the past and we are living for this moment and the moments that come after it, learning from the past yet not dwelling on it.  I have learned great lessons from my past. One of the lessons I have learned it to ALWAYS believe in yourself.  No matter how many people tell you, that you CAN'T.  That you are not college material ( actually said to me by my high school guidance counselor ), that you can't play college level basketball, ( by my high school basketball coach ) that you can't do this or that....that you don't have the intelligence for one career path or another.....I may not have gotten to the first string of the team, but I would have given my very best effort to support my team...and just so you know I am college material, my success have shown that.  Not everyone is cut out for college right out of high school, the drop out rate and amount of alcohol poisoning shows us that.... Some people like myself who are told that they CAN'T do things take that notion very seriously and believe it for many years....Until the most amazing supportive people come into your lives and change your belief systems a bit.  The people that show you, and tell you that you can and will succeed and becoming the someone you always dreamed you could be.  5 or 6 years ago I would have never thought I would be in this place....Sitting in an apartment in Ireland, a George Mitchell Peace Scholar, having graduated with Honors from college.  I have successes beyond my wildest dreams, because I had people who loved and supported me and actually believed that I could do it.  Who didn't say I couldn't...but said I could if I simply believed in myself.  Those people will always be in my memory cheering me on, no matter where I am in my life.  I chose now to forget the people who said that I couldn't.  Because I have been touched so intensely by teachers and educators lately, I just want them to know how appreciative that I am.  The role has been taken up by not only your typical educator, but by friends, family and loved ones.  So very simply I say thank you.  For seeing in me, what it took me a bit longer to see....I love you all and appreciate every last bit of effort!  I will not forget and intend to pay it forward.  

the friendly female farmer. 

Live without regrets...and always say I LOVE YOU!

So I have started this blog a few times now looking for just the right way to express my emotions.  This is a truly heartfelt bit of words and I want them to have the proper affect.  

Considering my work load is not over extensive here in Ireland, I have had an incredible amount of time to think.  To look back at my life, access it..take from it what I will and move on to the next thing.  Yet I always seem to come back to the same notion.  The love and appreciation for the people that mean the most in our lives.  Missed opportunities and regrets.  As for the love and apprecition part.  I honestly can't say enough, how very important it is for you to say I love you, to your spouce, your children, your parents and grandparents....or your bff for that matter.  Some people have a hard time saying it, other have a hard time accepting the words, but the gesture and the meaning can be really profound.  Consider this.....It may be the very last time you say them.  Think about that for just a moment.  You will NEVER again be able to tell that person...whom you in fact love very much, that you do...NEVER in this physical world will you say it.  I am not sure about you, but I just got very emotinal.  So that means everybody, take the time to get in contact with your loved ones and say it.  Make an effort to make things better if they are not the best.  Those three little words can make someone the happiest they have ever been...and you have given very minimal effort...

Missed opportunities and regrets cloud my emotions, especially in regards to loved ones.  Yet after this cathartic blog, I intend to move forward with no regrets and never to miss another opportunity offered to me.  One of my biggest regrets is not getting to know my Pepere St. Pierre.  Granted, its a shame, I couldn't have been older and wiser while he was in the prime of his life.  To sit and talk to him about what it was like to have a very large family and what it took to feed and cloth that family.  The work ethic that man had, has runneth over into his children and I see it in my father every time he comes to help us do something at our farm. The blood is strong, and I am thankful that it has passed down into my body as well.  My pepere saw and experienced hardships that I can only begin to imagine, but persevered, and became a well established man in his community.  I just remember being scared to death of him.  He was a big man, and kind of gruff...at least that was my  perception.  I do believe he was a teddy bear on the inside, who very dearly loved his wife and children and the brood of grandchildren...The thing I regret about our lack of relationship is that I could have learned so much from him.  Especially when it came to farming.  I am the only one in a very large group of grandchildren who has chosen farming as a career path, so his knowledge would have lived on through me, and passed on to hopefully my children someday.  Yet I missed the opportunity because other things at the time seemed more important to me.  Selfish child like behavior and thoughs have denied me the moments it would have taken to talk to this wonderful man and hear his stories.  So for the rest of mylife I will have to take his guidance as its given, in my head and in my dreams.  

So I guess what I am saying is, in this month with all the thankfulness going on, take a moment and actually honestly think of what you are truly thankful for.  For the people, your family who have molded your life, given you goals to strive to.  This blog is a definite

reminder that I still have one grandparent who is living,  My pepere's wife Jane, and I must take every opportunity to get to know her better and spend time with her before she decides its time to go be with her husband.  So don't live with regrets, take a hold of your life and all that its given you and say Thank You.  Make the most of every relationship you are given the opportunity to experience.  I will from this very moment, live without regrets and take my opportunities where they are given.  

Thank you!  I love you all for taking the time to read this.  I hope you go out today and make someones day by saying those three little words.  

the friendly female farmer..........

Homesickness....Its all relative!

Lets just say that I have been a little homesick....I've mentioned this in posts on Facebook and have had lots of keep your chin up comments...Please don't take me missing home as being unappreciative of my opportunity.  I ask you to all, walk in my shoes for a minute and get the thought out of your head that this experience is a "incredible vacation with nothing but excitement around every turn"...because that is just not the case.  In all seriousness, 85% of the time Kori and I are in our rooms, perusing Facebook, twitter, pinterest and YouTube...to simply occupy our brains from utter boredom.  We go for walks to see our Irish horses...and when we go out to the city we have a blast, and when we go on adventures we also really enjoy ourselves.....Getting away from the dorms is key....Otherwise this leaves lots of time to be inside your own head.  Thinking about all the things that are going on at home, that you feel like you are missing out on...I know there is always next fall, but it just seems so far away...
In all honesty, the homesickness is in regards to my husband.  I knew this was going to be hard being away from him..but I didn't realize how much.  I have thought about our relationship so much over this initial time that I have been here.  Its given me time to reflect.  Its interesting now to me,  to think of the fact that somehow I have always wanted him, ...from the very beginning of our relationship years ago when I first went to the farm.  Now we are together, but separated and it is very difficult, because I feel like he is a part of me physically.  So it causes me pain to miss him, to be away from him.  Counting down the days on my desk calendar seems to help.  Talking to him on Skype helps even more...but its all relative in comparison to others out there who might be experiencing homesickness, or missing loved ones or what have you.  I say this because my friend Holly Witt has just recently lost her husband.  Tragically lost him...in such a way,  knowing how I love Frank, I'm not sure I could be as strong as she has been.  She is blogging through the pain and letting us all in to see her raw emotions.  Every time I read it, though its inspirational, I cry...as if it was my husband that has died...because the pain is so real and honest.  I feel like I really should pull up my big girl panties and move forward, because soon this trip will be over and I will get to run and hug my husband at the airport...Holly only has photos and memories of the man of her dreams.  Because she is so strong, because she is amazing in letting us into her life, I feel stronger and feel as if I owe it to her to be that way.  This is only temporary pain for me....not for her however...and everyday she moves on and says something wonderfully inspiring via Facebook.  So I miss home, I miss my husband! But because of HOlly's blog I feel stronger and can't possibly thank her enough for letting us see what she is going through with the blog.  She is an inspiration....truly....and I love her for it......So Thank you Holly Witt!  Love and Hugs from Ireland...
the friendly female farmer!

Obviously American.......

So far in our adventure here in Ireland, we have met two other "American's"  Granted they are from Canada, but for most of the folks here in Ireland that is close enough, kinda like Maine...I get a lot of the "oh yeah, that's Boston right".......I cringe a bit and say...close enough...hahahhahaaha...There is a large group of Brazilians and some French students......the French students we are slowly getting to know..the Brazilians are a harder group to break into...
But our american accents...and at that our very Mainer accents stands out heavily....I can't begin to count the times we have been asked..."Where are you from", like its not blatantly obvious...  we are then asked where we have gone sight seeing and then told places we should go..This has mostly been from our lively and entertaining cab drivers... More often than not that advice includes a bar or two....We have been to a few and they are all wonderful......I am not sure 3.5 months here is going to be enough to see all the incredible scenery that Ireland has to offer, or get to all the pubs for a pint.... but we are going to give it our best shot.
Camera toting, and umbrella wielding could also be good signs that we are not from around these parts....Most if not all that I have seen go around bare headed, or with a slicker with a hood....I have seen a few little old ladies with there very nice umbrellas out, but the youngins brave the mizzle.  Lets just say its a dang good thing my hair is naturally curly...Not going to get much sexy straight hair here in Ireland. Every time we attempt it, the mistiness of the day curls the little hairs around my ears and then its all over....
Though we are very very far from home, and homesickness has been prevalent, at least for me.  We are slowly beginning to develop bonds with our Irish friends.  Mark our bartender and the bouncer Dave at our little Pub in our building are wonderful.  Both will be receiving
 invites to our Thanksgiving celebrations.  For there friendship and wonderful advice....
The incredible staff at CIT, we have had nothing but the run around since we got here and through it all Carmel has been there, to reassure us that it would all get straightened out.
 Because of my success at school back in the US, I have been offered a student teaching position, or student assistant position, however you would like to put it in two classes...A very big deal for me.
So one little success after another keeps happening.....all due to the belief that positive comes from positive...Yes I miss my husband and family, sometimes I just want to go home and say hell with it all....but I know in my heart that would be giving up on something so incredible, I would feel regret the rest of my days.  

Yesterday Kori and I set out on an adventure all by ourselves...We went to Blarney Castle and kissed the infamous stone of elouqence.....The grounds were breathtaking and I was transformed into a medievel maiden, Wishing my heart out on the wishing steps and leaving my sacrafice on the witches stone....For a few hours I don't think I even really touched the ground I was so happy.....Life is a gift and I am happy to receive.....So thank you Universe..and George Mitchell......

Settling IN.............

I apologize for not giving you folks a constant stream of information in regards to this trip....and I am not one to usually make excuses for my actions.  My reasoning seems totally legitimate in my own mind, so we will go with that..Besides If I give you detailed information about my every move you may just get bored with me and move onto something much more entertaining and interesting..
We have been here for 11 days, and I am not going to lie, it has been a struggle.  From the initial loss of our luggage, to sleeping on a bed that I am sure was trying to murder me in my sleep...what little there has been of that...to finding that classes here were so laid back that missing the first week doesn't seem to upset anyone to badly. In the last few years, I have learned that everything has a lesson, somehow intertwined with the experience and again the lesson to learn for me is to calm the hell down...take a breath and let it wash over me.  I have got the greatest partner in crime in this adventure a girl could ask for....A friend and confidant...A lovely person who I am sure will be in my life for years to come...I have said it before and will say again here, that with out Miss Kori Kinney I am not sure I would have made it through the first few days.....We have each other to lean on and bitch to, so again I am thankful for that experience as well.  There are so many more days for our relationship to develop and I really look forward to it.  As we are settling in and making friends, seeing the sights and going to our classes, I am reminded that I am over here for the "experience" of Ireland.  Which in fact so far has been an experience...everyday brings something new to deal with and enjoy and I feel like I am going to come out of this a bit of a different person...and considering my current wonderfulness, just imagin how cool I will be when I get back to the states....I wouldn't even mind if I had a permanent Irish accent, ya know cause its sexy as hell....
I miss everyone back home....especially my husband...and my family very much...but I will be so much more the better for having done this, taking the time for BETH, in a way I have never done before....
So thanks again for checking in....I will be chatting a bit more regularly now that I have taken the moment needed to smell the roses....sneeze and smell again.....
LOVE YA'LL

the friendly female farmer....

Uptight American girl in Ireland!

Ok, so I thought I was laid back...Ya Right! The Irish are the epitome of laidbackness.  So far they don't seem to worried that we haven't really got a contact person to deal with.  The poor dear is having a family emergency and didn't come to work today.  Which is fine, except I keep trying to compare my experience at my wonderful community college in Maine to this experience.  Let me just say folks, that they are super stretched out on the spectrum.  At YCCC if I had an issue, it was resolved right in front of me and we went along on our merry way.  The classes I wanted were available and perfectly scheduled to meet my needs.  So far we haven't even been able to talk to anyone about what it is we are actually able to take for classes, let alone sign up for them...We are unable to get our student ID's because we lack access to printers here at the dorms, which is by the way an 8 minute or so walk to the college...and the ONLY means of transportation.  Unless of course you got a international license and took your life into your own hands and drove on the wrong side of the road.  Which I have no intention of doing, because I want to go home to Maine in one piece and not in a coffin. Its also the land of tiny cars.  Not many full size SUV here in Ireland, and if you saw the size of some of the streets you would not be surprised either...  Jeez Louise they drive aggressively here......I was told in no uncertain terms, by the cabbie that drove us from the bus stop to Edenhall, that "NO" they did not drive aggressively....Ya right dude..ok!
So I don't want to sound incredibly negative, because as they say its all part of the "experience".  The people are wonderful, they have wonderful accents, that at times I am unable to understand, and have on more than one occasion stood in front of someone like a deer in the headlights because I didn't understand a work they said....hehehe...Oh well the feeling has been reciprocal, as its happened the other way around as well...
We are supposed to get our luggage tomorrow, which would be incredible, but I still do not have access to a bank until we get our id cards figured out on Monday.  So far my list of things to tell the next set of Mitchell Scholars is growing at an exponential rate....I hope to not overwhelm them, and as we move forward I am SURE that things will settle down and become routine....We look forward to the societies and the international club...which offer great ways to get around the city and explore and offer great activities like going to the Greyhound Races....
I apologize but I won't have any pictures until the luggage arrives and I get all my electronic cables back.  So here's to developing a better sense of laidbackness while I am here!

Last Night in Casco........

Its my last night at the farm for 3+ months...Tomorrow at 230pm I grab the bus to Logan.  Its the first part of my journey to a country I have never been to.  Ireland has always been on my bucket list of travel destination. So being able to check it off the list at this point in my life is incredible.    I feel so many things right now. I feel incredibly lucky, and I feel terrified and excited all at the same time.  I am really not looking forward to leaving my husband.  I wish there was a way for him to come and visit and experience part of my adventure with me.  Leaving him and my family is all part of the journey.  I feel like I have double and triple checked my bags and I am sure I will repack once more in the morning.  I have my passport and all important paperwork....I think, I hope...I believe I have everything....probably more than I need....but hell its 3 months....
So I will post what I can tomorrow via my facebook account...and will be sure to post a blog post on here when I am settled into the dorm....Pictures will be forth coming as I take them...keeping you all up to date on my adventure the very best I can....

Thanks Ya'll
the friendly female farmer.....

Closer and closer...

The last two evenings, I have been unable to sleep straight through the night. 2:30am is a very quiet time of night.  The stars are usually very brilliant and bright as well.  I love star gazing at that time of the evening.  Its as if you can reach up and grab a star they are so clear and sparkly.  I feel closest to the earth and to myself at this time.  Nothing is bothering me or stressing me or asking for my attention.  I can reflect and enjoy the silence of the night.  Though the little animals are making quite a racket.  Although I would much rather be sleeping soundly getting my much needed rest, I am happy that this time of night is so relaxing.  I say a little prayer of thanks and usually go back to bed and rest well.
AS I have been star gazing the last two nights, I just had to wonder if I will be much of the stars over in Ireland....From what I hear the weather over in Ireland is a bit dreary...so wonder about my star gazing?  I hope to have at least 1 good stargazing evening....
4 More days till I leave and will be sure to let you know how the stargazing goes....as one of the neat things we will be putting to a comparison...

the friendly female farmer....

Making an Impact!

In the past few years I have met people, many people who have touched my life and made a big impact on me.  Each day I feel like I want to make an impact on peoples lives as well.  Because of my interaction with people on a regular basis, this happens to me over and over.  Its usually a very simple thing, like a girl who gets to trot for the first time on a horse out on a trail here in Casco.
Today was really special though.  A woman called to confirm her appointment for a trail ride today and one of her questions was if we had an Appaloosa?  This is a breed of horse that is typically spotted.  She used to own a Appaloosa gelding, which she had trained from the ground up and used to show on the circuits.  It was obvious to me there was an incredible bond between this woman and her horse.  Her horse died of a tragic illness, and because of the bond she promised the horse on his death bed that she wouldn't ride.  So fast forward 25 Years, to today.  The look in her eyes as she looked at Rockette was powerful and very emotional.  I was touched in a very deep way when I looked at her.  She mounted with ease and sat tall in the saddle....then she reached down and hugged her around the neck.  This is the first time I almost lost it, as she described her realtionship with her horse I was so touched.  Its incredible to listen to peoples horse stories, to hear what they have been through and discovered about themselves on that journey.  Watching this woman smile as she trotted across the picturesque landscape was a thrilling feeling.  I was so happy to be involved in this moment in her life....to make a tiny impact on someone.  Its easy really, I'm lucky enough to do it with the help of horses....occassionally the coffee purchase of the customer in front of me at Dunkin, or paying for the next person at the toll booth....so many wonderful little things we can do to make an impact on people....Do it, it doesn't hurt a bit!!!

UPdates Ya'll

So we are getting closer and closer by the day.....11 days and I'm gone....
The last few days, I have been not only working down the hill at the farm giving trail rides...which has amounted to a great deal of work, but doing chores and keeping the my farm running as well.
When I take a few minutes for myself at night before dinner, its more often than not in front of the TV watching cooking channel....NOT food network...but cooking channel....in search of really wonderful foods, and places to eat.  My quest for a food adventure I do believe is starting with this incredible journey to Ireland.
Along with chores on the outside of the farm, and down the hill, I have been doing things like TRYING to pack, or getting ready to pack....or just setting the cloths on the bed and seeing what the heck is going to fit into the suitcase...or should I say suitcases?  I mean seriously...how does one pack for 3 months away from home......Let me know if you have any suggestions.
Thanks for staying tuned peeps...
the friendly female farmer....

T-14 days and counting....

It still does not feel real.  Is it possible that in 14 days, I am going to get on a plane and fly away into the sunset....or should I say into the drizzly overcast....

I'm leaving for 3 whole months, 3 months away from my family, 3 months away from my beloved husband....3 months away from my farm and animals..

3 months on probably one of the most exciting adventures of my life.  There is still so much to do, and so little time to do it in.  So many people I want to see before I leave.  

I need to figure out what I am bringing with me, from what I understand I need some wet weather gear, and lots of sweaters.  So in the next 14 days I will keep ya'll abreast of the craziness that is my life as I continue to work, visit my family and peeps, play with my husband and get ready to leave from this incredible trip.  

Please stay tuned and share with your friends.  I will be documenting the whole trip....and I know I haven't been on blogging in a bit...but I am back at it with renewed excitement. 

Thanks so much to all of you who have read and continue to read this silly little missive....

the friendly female farmer...

Take that Friendly Female Farmer.....said bitchy Mother Nature!

So 9 days ago I was writing about the rain and how it was "like a total drag" and stuff...right...right...and you were all with me, or at least the 3 people that read the blog were.....
and As I sit on the couch, in front of the fan...in a giant hothouse farmhouse type place with a really hot computer on my lap...I just have to think to myself.....self you brought this all on yourself.  This heat is wonderful, when you are independently wealthy and can lay by the pool while the cabana boy brings you mixed cocktails...AAaaahhhh, wouldn't that be nice.  Instead, I work and after I  go and float around on my noodle down at the local pond, Its an amazing way to cool off.  With this weather the only way to cool yourself is be immersed up to your neck in cool water, or in the AC somewhere.  I did get a laundry list of things done, before the extreme heat hit full on....
My brain is a little fried from the heat, the animals are uncomfortable...it just sucks...I know I am asking for a lot but can't we just get a little in betweeny type weather....Oh and get rid of the damned horse fly's...
Thanks so much Mother Nature...your the shit!  LOve ya!!!

Please Note, I only call Mother Nature names out of heat frustration and sarcasm, I wouldn't want her to get the wrong impression.

LOve ya'll, thanks for hanging in..

the friendly female farmer....

Sick and Tired...OF THE RAIN!

Who doesn't function better on sunshine instead of rain.  All I want to do is nap and eat baked goods.  The lawn needs to be mowed and fencing needs fixing, yet i'm stuck inside with a to do list that keeps getting longer and longer.  This weather is starting to freak me out a little bit.  Mother Nature has been a royal bitch lately and I'm not afraid to say it.  I don't remember weather being like this when I was a kid, summers were always sunny.  I probably blocked the bad weather out, probably for fear of developing post traumatic stress disorder over the rain....

If it continues I could develop a great dislike for wet weather and move somewhere dry...like hot and dry....Arizona for example....Not sure I could take the giant spiders and scorpions though. 

So maybe I am destined to live in a wet climate.  Its hard to keep a positive attitude in this weather, but I know that someday, somehow the weather will break and it will be sunny.  So is this a bit dramatic?  Yes possibly, but this stupid precipitation drives me fits of drama, screaming and crying have been known to make appearances.  Right this very instant is coming down in sheets, and raining through the giant hole in the roof.  Goodness this weather has brought me to my knees in preparation of prayer.  Please, I beg of you rain....GO AWAY...AND PLEASE DON'T COME AGAIN TILL NEXT SUMMER!!! If you have to rain, only do it at night and make sure its nice and sunny during the day.  Ya take that mother nature!!!

Good Night, here is to sweet dreams of sunny beautiful weather. 

the friendly female farmer

Giddy Up!!!

There is something to be said for getting to ride your horse to work.  More than anything I have tried to find work that would let me stay on the farm as much as possible.  As you know, the farm girls work is never done.  So working right down the hill giving trail rides fits into my farm schedule really well.  I really like my trail guide job, and am happy I decided to pursue it.  As you know, one of my passions in life, along with farming and food...is horses.  I feel complete when there is a horse on the farm, and being lucky enough to work with horses everyday is a blessing.  Don't get me wrong, not everyday is a big bag of cherries.  This is where I often interject my power of positive thinking......Nothing gets you through the mud like a good positive thought..
So people, no matter how muddy the trail may be, envision it being well packed and dry and before you know it you are at your destination.............

Take Care my friends....and do what makes you happy!!!!

the friendly farmer!!!!

Its an illness....I can't help it...its call horseaholicism.....

So it seems I was born with this disease...It can't be stopped or controlled.  I must indulge in the purchase of cool tack and bottles of bug spray.  Polo wraps and brushes...the list of horsey necessities never ends.  The saddle pads come in all colors and sizes, and the boots are super cool.  Not to mention the animals themselves.  I'm not sure that its a constant feeling, but it was definitely more pronounced when I got another horse...."I honestly don't feel whole without a horse on the farm".  I found that I was stressed and went out to  hand out with my equine friend and it all just seemed to drain away.  Horses have such a calming affect on me and I know they affect lots of people in the same way.  They are incredible animals that have so much to give to us if we are willing to accept it...
I am lucky and blessed to be able to have another horse.  To have a husband that understands my love and need for a horse.  To have the wonderful family members who are willing to work in the heat to build a stall.  Every time I evaluate my life I am amazed and super thankful for just how blessed I am.....Adding a horse to the family has been an even bigger blessing.....
So like any other day I get to write my blog I want to say thank you...To my wonderful husband....for my wonderful family and for the addition of a horse....
PS the goats are a little curious...and Gunner thinks they are fabulous......

the friendly female farmer....

Love ya all...thanks for reading.

Crying over spilled milk...................

Lately this has been happening a lot.  I literally feel sick to my stomach when I dump out the morning milking.  Honestly that is what we have been doing.  Because of our unlicensed status we can't sell our milk or cheese.     Because we can't advertise our products its very hard for us to get the word out that we have it...when we do in fact have it, a lot of it in fact....I was milking 6 goats and have cut back to 4 and soon enough will be 3.  I will be going from 4 gallons a day to 2 which I think will be a bit more manageable.  Still I can't drink or make 14 gallons of cheese products in a week.  So what do I do...I can't keep throwing it in the compost pile.....The investment of the grain in  these ladies milk production is not cheap....so I must devise a plan of action.  Part of this plan is in the works, and I hope to reveal it in the spring when I return from Ireland.  But one part of the plan is this......If you want to try some goats milk and cheese, and you are going by the farm or out for a drive...you should let me know and stop in.  We are now going to be giving away to people who are interested our milk and cheese and sometimes ice cream.  I feel like if we begin to develop our clientele while we work towards getting licensed then we will be all the better off when we are able to go public with our products.  I want so much to feed people and make them happy and I know that the people who have tried our cheese and ice cream, and yes even our milk are thoroughly satisfied.  I have even gotten some people who "hate" goat cheese to try it and have been converted to fresh goat cheese lovers.  This is a wonderful feeling.  So if you read this, and you have been wanting to try some cheese.  Let me know.  Get in touch with me......

the friendly female farmer.

You can find me on facebook as Beth Walker or on my farm page....Smiling Goat Farm

whoot whoot...i'm back in business!!!!

Well hello....I'm so sorry to have left you hanging...the honest truth is, that my computer was on the fritz, or at least the connection was and me being a not so savvy person in regards to computer problems it sat on the side table without a hope.  Thank goodness for my friend Joe and his awesome computer capabilities....we are back at it now.
All I can say is that I have been so busy I have barely any time to think, let alone blog, so its been a good thing the computer has been down.
I have been working down the hill at my friend Tiffany's business, guiding trail rides....along with working here at our farm, doing whatever I can to keep the place presentable. Dealing with devious, escape artist goats, and the fact that we are getting a new horse...putting in a few veggies for nibbling before I leave for my trip to Ireland....No big garden this year, because I won't be home to do all the canning....
I'm so glad to be back doing this....I have missed it a great deal and now that the computer is all fixed...we can move on to our cute and entertaining stories...
Hope to see you back and reading and sharing the blog...Its a big help to get me out into the mainstream....
Love you all and appreciate you reading...
Have a wonderful night, stay cool and chat with you all again soon.

the friendly female farmer.....

Where do you go???????

Where do you go in the evening, when the lights in the house are all off and everyone but you has gone to bed?  Do you sit up and watch the TV, Do you sit on your stoop, or on the back deck?  Very simply for me its out in the barn watching the sun set, or when its all dark, listening to the peepers, and slowly walking back to the house in the dark.  I thought I loved "places" before, but it wasn't the same as now.  The simplest things make me smile, the noises you hear, when you are actually "listening" are incredible...knowing you are not alone in the dark is a comfort.  Having this place to go to is my personal therapy sessions, where I take stock of my body and how I am feeling at the end of the day.  The last few days my hands have been hurting....Just so you know, milking 6 goats by hand twice a day is hard on your body...My my friend Aimee's husband  JOhn says I will be able to crush walnuts by the end of the summer...
 I take a minute and say thank you, for all that I have and continue to receive.  I listen for a minute longer and usually head into the house....
I usually go to bed refreshed and renewed for the coming of the next day..... The barn is my church and I worship there everyday.....
Thanks Ya'll have a wonderful evening and take a moment to worship in the church of nature...it will do your soul good. 
love ya
the friendly female farmer

Sad but True........

Positive thinking is incredible, it can manifest lots and lots of things, and everyday I see the incredible power of this.  I am however not invincible in my ability to create my desires.  I have days when my positive abilities dwell beneath the surface of the earth, with the worms.  Underground where I just can't seem to reach down and dig it out.  Though the gods have been smiling down on me, and one good thing after another has been happening for me, I am perplexed as to why I can't see to manifest one very important thing to make this dream a reality.  MONEY....the end all and be all of the continuation of this crazy adventure.  We work our kesters off, to pay bills, and buy wood.  Grain and mason jars, seedlings and groceries....and there seems to not be enough left over for the dream kitchen and dairy.  For this farm to be financially viable, we must have a dairy that is able to be licensenced by the state of Maine, and a kitchen that can be as well.  Currently we are giving away as much cheese as we can make, and milk to whom ever would like it.  The ice cream we make is incredible and I could make a simple living on the ice cream alone, if I only had a commercial ice cream machine.  Not to mention what its going to cost just for the labels for all this milky goodness....Don't get me wrong.  I am not complaining, just sending it out to you all and the universe that I need some help.....I need a Philanthropic Knight in shining  armor to come and save me from my distress.  When I day dream about this farm, I do it with the mindset of having a bottomless checkbook, and although the money if flowing freely, the farm is never ostentatious or overdone.  Its simple and classy and open to whom ever wants to visit.  To whomever want to come and learn, how to farm, how to care for animals, how to cook and entertain...To whomever want to come and talk about their dreams they have been afraid to pursue.  This farm WILL be a place for people of all ages who have felt the crushing denial of their dreams, it will be a place to learn things that you have always wanted to know about farming and its potential, and how it can be incredibly stimulating for all aspects of your life.  It will be a place to find who you are.  It has been that place for me, In such a short period of time, Just over a year I have come to the simple realisation that being who you are and loving that person is incredibly important to your success in life.  I am passionate about this lifestyle and its rewards, and it rewards me everyday.  Now with all this positivity if I can just manifest a power ball win, or wealthy investor in a really cool local farm I would be set for life....So I will not let the tiny creeping negative thoughts out weight the positive and somehow....someway I will have this dairy and commercial kitchen so our Delicious goat milk products can be enjoyed by our friends and neighbors.....
I thank you all for keeping up with this crazy ramblings of a friendly female farmer....
Nighty Night....

Why did you name it smiling goat farm?

Seriously!  How could you resist that smile?  Mae and her naughty goat herd mates are constantly sporting that shit eatin grin.  Goats smile alot.  I'm not sure if its because they are always happy, or if they enjoy the hijinks's they are always getting into?  I'm sure its a mixture of the two really.  Goats seem unfazed by the daily grind so to speak.  They are a great animal to use as a comparison to the positive way of thinking about life.  Eating grain is definitely like meditating for them....at least they seem the most ZEN while they are chowing down the sweet feed.  As long as they have green grass, scrubby shrubs and sunny days....they continue to smile....Even on the rainy ones, I can get a smile for a salted peanut.  We named the farm simply for the goats....they have helped us from the very beginning of this journey.  They provide us with an incredible fresh product...which more people need to be enjoying by the way.....They provide us with companionship and friendship...They are definitely confidants.  They are warm bodies to lay your head against while milking in the dead of winter....I could go on and on...They are lovely animals!  So that's why we named the farm Smiling Goat Farm! 

Its Over....all over....

Two Years....of homework and studying, cut fingers and stained coats...amazing plates and devine desserts.....Of Raping Environmental science teachers and incredible art teachers.....of female chefs who inspired me...each and every class.....and its all over.....
I woke this am totally physically and mentally exhausted....I had been holding in all the tired and crazy for months now....and I really needed to just sleep it all off.  I have been trying not to think of the Beth outside of YCCC.  Who she will be?  Its odd leaving school and I wonder just how many people feel this way after a long stint at college...focusing all your energy on one thing..and suddenly having to focus it elsewhere. 
Well my friends its the next step in the adventure of the friendly female farmer....I hope you will all stay with us to see us progress....

the friendly female farmer

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.......

Its getting late on Sunday night.  The Sunday night before my last 3 days of classes at YCCC.  Boy oh boy it has gone quickly.  As I am sitting at the table, writing thank you notes to the people who have helped me through and inspired me to be more and do better, I can't help but think back on the past two years at school and what had brought me to YCCC.  As I have said a few times in the past few speeches I have had to give.....I never thought in a million years I would be here. Until I made the decision to go back to school, I felt lost and wasn't sure what I wanted to be when I grew up.  Its something I am sure many people suffer from.  I found myself while going through the culinary program at YCCC.  I figured out who I really am, and I am totally OK with that.  I have made the decision that I will do only the things that motivate me, because when you do what you love the money follows you.  I have experienced so many wonderful things in the past 2 years.  I have made contacts and networks that I never would have found, had I not decided to come back to school.  I was never a good student, however I don't believe that was totally my fault, and I simply have to wonder, if my past educational experiences had been anything like what I had at YCCC, might I be in a different place?  The past is the past thought, and as I move forward onto another adventure in my life, I will take my experience at this wonderful college with me for years to come.  So thank you, to my wonderful husband for suggesting and supporting me the whole time.  I love you with all my heart and am so happy we are FINALLY together.  To my parents, who just get cooler and cooler....thanks for trying everything I make and loving it......You two are the best parents any girl could ask for.  To my wonderful siblings, for simply being you....Love you both so much. To my girlfriend Jess for all the laughs we have had over the past 2 years.  I love ya, and will miss having labs with you, but I know we will be two of the most successful graduates YCCC has ever seen....( Positive thinking is powerful stuff people )   To my friends and family who have tried and loved my food as well, and continue to ask me for recipes....the cookbook is in the works...
Finally to my YCCC family....without you all I would not have had the success I have had.  Your support and guidance has meant the world to me.  I love you all and will miss you a great deal.  So here is the a week full of finals and saying goodbye to a great time....
Thank You.....Thank You......Thank You...........

the friendly female farmer.....

Toot your own horns, cause baby sometimes you just need to.......

For what seems like forever looking back on it....I had very very very low self esteem.....I didn't believe in myself and definitely partook in self deprecating activities.  I let myself be told over and over again that I was unworthy and unable to do so many things....My career choice was stupid and unattainable, my thought processes about life were silly and unrealistic....Simply said, I was being told that being me was just not an option. 
Fast forward to almost 3 years ago now.....I divorced my old life and moved onto a much more supportive and exciting new adventure.  I returned to college and have reached the bars set for me over and over again...more often than not reaching them and hurtling right over the top. Just recently being named STUDENT OF THE YEAR AT YCCC...I couldn't be more humbled and thrilled to have been chosen....still in awe of it all....
  I have purchased the dream farm...that in my mind I can see finished and full of excited friends, family and interesting visitors....WE are in the midst of renewal in the form of baby goats and the return to making cheese and ice cream and whatever else can be made with goats milk....
Its an incredibly exciting time, and I have to thank my support system for it....For my husband, for my parents and siblings...for my friends and family supporting me on facebook and reading this blog....if it wasn't for you all, I wouldn't have had to courage to success in this thing we call life....
I have learned so much in such a very short period of time....but the most important thing I have learned is to give of your TRUE SELF....be not afraid of that person that may be hidden underneith....Tell him or her to burst forth and be real....When you come out....GIVE...as much as you can....because when you do....amazing things happen...Wonderful people fall in love with you...Amazing role models and leaders come into your life and the neat little world of networking comes into play...you might be surprised by what happens....
and beyond all that....TOOT your own horn....if you are really good at something...do it and tell people about it....

A hardened farm girl.......

Losing animals on the farm is a part of life....Because I know this is going to happen, doesn't not however make it any easier to experience.  Going to the barn and finding 3 dead kids was heartbreaking.  Having to deal with their lifeless bodies even more so.  These times call for introspection and deep thoughts.  There is always a bit of doubt when death occurs, even thought you know its not your fault.  Questions like, am I doing the right thing?  Am I really cut out for this life?  Even thought I know the answer is indubitably YES!  Farming isn't easy, and its far from glamorous....and even though we have experienced a loss.....hopefully we will be blessed with a healthy set of kids from the next goat to give birth....
I think experiencing this with calmness and reflection has helped me to see that....I am human, and can experience loss and still go on with a positive attitude...
Be strong in all you do....take a minute to reflect and then move forward....always with positivity in your mind....
There is a reason that all things happen......

Enjoy this lovely spring day...and thanks for hanging in there with me....Exciting things are happening....For me and my husband, and our farm....

the friendly female farmer....

I'm on a Quest....a quest for the perfect PICKLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ya you heard it folks, I'm on a quest for the perfect pickle......Pickles just so happen to be my favorite food...or at least its up there in the top 5 for sure....very close to the top of the top 5..just so you know how serious I am.  I LOVE PICKLES.....there its out in the open for all to hear and see....
Ok people...lets get serious.  I know how I feel about pickles....how about you.  Did your grammy or memere make the best pickles ever and you wish right at this very moment you could have one....I know I am planning a trip to my memeres in hopes of absconding with the recipe for dilly beans...Oh did I mention I love all kinds of veggies pickled....green beans, carrots and cauliflowers...cabbage and red onions etc etc.......each requiring a special recipe to enhance the flavors of the veg...
So why am I telling you this you are probably wondering....well I am hoping you will comment on this blog with a recipe....Part of the reason I am on this quest is because my husband has thrown down a challenge to me, to put away all our food for a year in the soon to be constructed root cellar. So a years worth of pickles is a lot of pickles....and imagine if you could a year full of crappy pickles.....oh the horror....I am not sure I could make it through....So I need your help, your expertise in the field of pickle making....
Here are some very simple stipulations.  The pickle must have crunch...a pickle is not a pickle without some serious texture...I need the snap and crunch....
It can be of any flavor...such as dilly or garlic, kosher or bread and butter, mustard or gherkin...I would really love to have a recipe for cornishons...Variety is the spice of life right...
So I will post picks of the canning process and finished products and tell you all how each one turns out....Here is your chance to help out the friendly female farmer..
Thanks Ya'll
the friendly female farmer......

WooooooooooWhoooooo SPRING!!!

Lets just say that spring....is initially not a "pretty" season.  Everything is brown and dingy, dog poop and manure piles cover the ground....everything is soft and mushy and tracks in on your muck boots.  Yet around the granite foundations of many a Maine house, there are hardy little flowers popping up and getting ready to produce there little fragrant blossoms....Oh the joy of spring and what it entails....that is after you get through mud season. 
This time of year makes me long for the green house and dirt of the earth...It makes me want to grow stuff, flowers and food for beautification and sustenance.  Its such an exciting time.  I'm looking forward to our first year at the farmers market here in Casco and know we will develop friendships and a loyal following of our farm products.  This year, because of our unlicensed status, we will give our products away and hope that our customers will give a donation to the building of the farm cause.  A commercial kitchen and a licensed milk room are imperative to making this farm financially viable.  And those are just steps one and two.  The future of this piece of property, our farm is unbelievably exciting....Don't you think.
We want you to come and visit...come see our process....see the animals....try our milk, cheese and other wonderful dairy products, like Vanilla Bean Ice Cream. 
How else will you know how cool farming can be, how exciting this life choice is and what a rewarding life you can lead living on the farm.  Come check it out...
Thanks for reading folks.....feel free to comment on my blog, I would welcome feed back and ideas.
You are all the best!
Thanks.
the friendly female farmer

This is the view from the back of the barn.....Not bad EHHHH!

Full Moon

There is just something about a full moon that makes you want to stay up all night and watch it move through the sky.  Its majestic and alluring.  It definitely has a very magnetic feel to it this evening.  The weather is clear and bright and perfect for star gazing.  I really enjoy going out late and looking at the sky, seeing if I can see a shooting star in time for a wish. To contemplate life and my choices.  Its a time when no one is bothering you for this or that and you can just be CALM.  The days have been long, with school, the farm and everything else that life entails.  My life under the full moon is sweet people....sweet I tell ya! 
Thank you all for checking this out...new things are happening and they are all exciting...stay tuned for some big announcements and plans for our farm.

the friendly female farmer....

IN a total tired zone....

So I have been starring off into space for the last 2 minutes, not sure exactly why....I know one thing, I'm tired.  It just hit me, my brain is tired and my body is tired...so I am only going to be a few minutes here tonight folks.  Another set of babies was born this afternoon, a buckling and a doeling.  A beautiful brown color with black and white markings.  I'm dumbfounded but I keep finding myself in a daze....( giggle ) there are still 5 more does to kid out....goodness who was I kidding thinking this would be realitively easy....Ha ha ha ha....no way peeps is this easy.  So I am going to bed to sleep for a few hours...then back up again to milk the mom who kidded tonight, feed those babies...back to bed up at 4am to feed the other 5 and the 2 new ones....and on top of all this...I have to think of 2 really cool names for these little beasties...Wish me luck Ya'll.
the friendly female farmer....

Mother Nature, Your such a Tease!!!!

Looking out the window right now, you would never know its about 23 degrees.  The trees are swaying back and forth, the sun is shining, and you can see bare ground, where the snowmobile trail "used" to be.  But it is 23 out and the wind is blowing like a royal bitch....excuse my french....but my god its windy here....Chicago ain't got nothing on us baby.  Mother Nature is really playing with us right now...I heard on the news that we have storm coming on Tuesday, a doozie that may just drop 12 inches in our neck of the woods....Yippy skippy, if I still had the Durango, I wouldn't blink an eye...but when you drive a tiny VW Beetle, things are much different in the world of racing down the Maine turnpike....
Maybe If I am super duper lucky they will be getting similar amounts in Wells, and school may be canceled, mind you I am not excited about missing class, but I am excited about not having to drive in the shitty snowstorm....
Well can you feel that I am sick and tired of cold and snow, and ready for spring and its renewal properties...I need to dig in the dirt, plant and replant seedlings, transplant poppies and share with friends.  Fix fencing and release the goats for a day of nibbling....Rake and mow, rake and mow....perpetual motion on the farm, milk the goats and make cheese....bake bake bake and day trip it to our local farmers market....giving our products away in hopes of a donation to the cause...
This past winter has been a real challenge.....ups and downs and all around...but we have come out of it positively in tack and motivated for the arrival of spring....For us its the beginning of our next chapter here at the farm.  So many new and exciting things happening here, and we hope you all who take the time to read this silly little musing can be apart of it as we progress....Stay tuned for some very exciting things happening here....
Thank you for taking the time out of your day....I appreciate it!

the friendly female farmer...

Sleep Deprived and thrilled about it....

For those of you who have ever been in the barn and liked it, you know there is something special about a barn.  Especially when its warm and full of happy animals.  OFten I have found myself quiet and introspective in the barn....and when I think back, it was always during the day.  In the last few years, and especially in the recent few weeks, I have found that the late night feedings in the barn have a totally different feeling...a quiet that is much different than the quiet of the day.  In the wee hours of the night, when the animals have relaxed enough to lay down and really sleep, layed out with their legs flung to the sides....now thats really sleeping...The sounds they make, that comfort me in knowing they are dreaming away in total comfort and safety.  I feel as if I am the guardian of my warm and comfy barn, and especially now that the first kids have been born.  I go to the barn, bleery eyed and tired, but rejoice in the fact that two perfect little goat kids, jump up and rush to butt me in the knees as I enter their stall for their feeding.  I then get to watch them suck down their bottles, eyes often times rolled in the back of  there heads....they finish with a bleet and go to climbing on me like the human jungle gym...I could spend all day sitting in the hay playing with them, but before I know it 45 minutes have gone by and its 1245am and I need to get up at 5.....Goodness I am pooped right out...but again, I am thrilled to be a farmer chick, and I wouldn't trade this job for anything else....
I am thankful everyday, for the farm and my friends, and you all that read this crazy postings...even when I haven't posted in a few days....
Thanks Again Ya'll....

the friendly female farmer and DiNozo and Ziva....

Spring has sprung...in the form of wobbly legged goat kids...

I can't really express to you in words the feeling you get when you go out to the barn and see the beginnings of a goat birth....I ran to the house to tell my husband it was starting, and to grab towels and the like to clean up babies after they were born.  Our first goat to kid, is a first freshener and she didn't take to kindly to being a mommy...Which is totally fine, because we are bottle feeding all the kids anyway....Another whole story all together. 

As I am technically a first freshener as well...Meaning this is my first run at having goats, I went to the bad place first.  The doeling that was born first just had here little hooves sticking out, and all I could imagine was that it wasn't going to be alive...but with a few good pushes by her mommy, the little baby slide out onto the hay and inside the sack I could see it moving around.  I got the baby all cleaned and waited to the other to show itself....15 minutes later a baby buckling came into the world all gangly legged and awkward...

All I can say is that its amazing to watch birth first hand.....to give a little assistance when needed.  I didn't do much at all except clean them off and give them there first taste of moms milk...I need to hold them up and direct the teet into there mouths so they could suckle.  Now we are onto the bottle feeding and that in itself is worth all the wee hour feedings that will be done over the next few months.....

I know each and every birth will be different and awe inspiring, and some may not turn out as well as the first, but each will have a lesson, and will be a learning experience.  I am thrilled beyond belief that I have choose this path.......It has and will continue to bring me, Joy and Happiness I believe couldn't be found anywhere but on this little piece of heaven we call our farm....

Thank you all for being kind followers of this silly little blog.....Pictures of the yet to be named baby goats to follow....

the friendly female farmer....

Busy as a bee....

Boy oh Boy...this weather has been brutal, snow storm after snow storm...Yet it hasn't dampened my spring spirit...I know its getting toward spring to by the animals.  The goats are getting fatter and fatter, and complaining about there comfort. I expect there to be baby goats in the next week.... Our two little cashmere's are ready to be combed. The birds are back in force, checking out every bare spot there is for sign of little bugs.  I am thrilled for it all to come...the warm weather, the mud, the back breaking garden establishing, and the joys and pitfalls of kidding goats....There is just so so so much to do on a farm...In between chores and the daily grind of farm work, I slip into dream land about what project needs to be accomplished first, what it will look like upon completion and the excitement of getting it done....All the while in reality trying not to hit my dad in the head with a swinging 2by4 while we work on bracing the floors in the basement in preparation for the new bathroom upstairs.  See I can multitask.....
We have come such a long way in just a few short months...In April it will be a year we have been here in Casco....and I so look forward to many many more years...

The Casco Amazon
Devistation by weedwacker.
 

The Goatie Girls hard at work.

Long mowing hours to get to this point!

Sweet Success!

Finishing projects gives me a very comforted feeling inside.  I really enjoy starting something and then finishing it all in the same day...I feel like I have accomplished something.  Tonight It was a simple thing, but very time consuming.  I had a massive photo file that needed to be cleaned up, photos deleted and files renamed.  I did it, and it only took 2 hours.  Jeesh.....so from now on, when I upload pictures, they will be put in the right place and bad pictures instantly deleted.  Seems a good way to move forward with this, so someday down the line I am not having to spend another 2 hours fixing the mess I have made.  So here's to accomplishing projects and feeling really good about it....sometimes its the very simple things that make you happy at the end of the day...

Where does one start? At the Beginning of Course!!!

I am not sure how you go about dreaming....and when I say dreaming, I'm talking full out money is no object day dreaming.....I can honestly say, I never really see my dream in a total state of completion.  Why not, you might be wondering? Its honest to goodness the fun of starting a project and seeing it through to the finish, the people who help you, the fun that you have while getting prepared.  For me a big part of it, is the preparation to feed the people who help, or just the hubby and I for that matter.  That is always a part of the dream, in some way shape or form.  I always feel like I want to in some way entertain people.  More often than not with simple hospitality.  I would love to have my cousins here every Saturday for a jam session while I feed people and complete groovy projects....Ok so seriously.  The reality is maybe every 6 months we might get to have them here, for lively project finishing music and when we have help its typically my mother and father, and a few very close friends that have helped us.  WE always feed them, its always homemade and its comes from the heart, my heart!!!! We have started on this incredibly journey, in pursuit of a simple life that we hope to leave as a legacy to our children and their children.....So its simple isn't it...my dream is a reality....without the money is no object part!

Keeping Up!!!

Ok so I am doing ok with keeping up, but not as well as I would like.  As some of you with farms know, its hard to keep up....especially when the weather is blowing wind up your skirt, and not in a nice way either.....Its about 12 degree's and the wind is blowing about 35 mph...Yup that makes it about 20 below out..so farm chores in this weather are not for the weak at heart, for those just starting out it, can make or break you...The weather is my worst enemy this time of year....Its hard on  the Psyche.  It can be very difficult to keep your cheery positive attitude in check, when mother nature just doesn't seem to care a sweet bit that you have to lug water to your goats, and the pipes are frozen...So with that said, keeping up with winter chores can be a challenge, so what is it that does keep the attitude in check....the goats of course.  They are all snugged up in the barn, laying with their preferred friend and chewing their cud....They all jump up when I come in, moaning groaning and generally just talking their goat heads off....They love me!  I am instantly attacked ( in a good way ) by Mae, the leader and definitely most pushy by far as getting lovin goes of my ladies.  Then who ever else is interested in a scratch or pet, stands around waiting there turns.  There bellies are all getting bigger and the moaning louder....and in a few months time, I will be over run with little goat babies..my very own group of kids...I should be thankful of the little bit I have to do now, because as soon as the babies start arriving, I will be bottle feeding every few hours on top of my regular set of chores.....OH the sweet abandon of a just lugging a few water buckets...so even though I have lots to do and sometimes it gets overwhelming...I have to look at the big picture.  I am thankful for all that I have, and even the small setbacks of a bitterly cold day, have a big reward at the end....I am loved.....

Just plain tuckered.....

Short and sweet and to the point....I am just plain tuckered.  There is just so much going on and when you are doing 90 percent of it, it can take a toll. I didn't even have school today, but from morning till night there is always something to do...always something to roll over onto tomorrows list.  Farming is damn tiring, but at least I sleep good...most nights anyway.  The wave of excitement about our future endeavors here at the farm seems to be growing, a tiny following is beginning to rise up.  We have supporters we never knew we had, and help from people we barely know.  Its contagious and thrilling to see people get excited about our plans here at "still no name farm".....( I have been told it will come in time, when it ready to be named...so in the mean time....no name it is) Yet all this excitement contributes to me being tired...ha ha ha!  I am forever thankful of this tiredness, it means I have put in a hard days work, accomplished little to nothing, and oh so much....It means I have a farm I can love, and loves me back...Its a good thing to be tired and honestly tonight I AM.....

Sweet Dreams my dear fellow friendly female farmer followers...Say that 3 times fast...I dare ya!

the friendly female farmer!

Birthday shmirthday!

So another birthday has passed and I am one year older than I was last year at this time..But that's how it works for everybody right.....right....It wasn't a monumental birthday or anything particularly special..OH except for the storm of the century, the year or just the plain old month here in Maine....Turns out there are some big snow banking in the after math of the storm...WOE is me...It's Maine people take a chill pill!!!! We fared well here at No Name Farm, no power outages and a crap load of snow to clean up, and with no real implements of snow removal except human shovel power, we cleaned up the old fashioned way.  Thankfully the bulk of the driveway was done by good friends with a plow truck, I just couldn't see Frank and I shoveling a 200ft driveway with 3 foot brick wall snow drifts by hand....So thank you over and over again Winslows for coming to the rescue.  The tiny Chihuahua is appalled at the amount of snow, and the Pyrenees is like "whoot whoot"......the goats were excited to be set free after two days cooped up.....but haven't ventured beyond the hoof prints in the side of the snow banking.  Life on a farm during a Maine winter can be lots of things, and sometimes it can be discouraging and inspiring all in the same day.  I must continually count my blessings!  I am where I have always meant to be, on a farm in Maine.  I am with a man I have loved for more years than I can count, even though we have only been together for a short time.  I have animals that love me, and I love them back.  Nothing like hugging your goats before you come into the house for the evening.  Before I know it, kidding time will be upon us and I will be blessed with baby goats to bottle feed, mothers to milk and fresh milk and cheeses for the fridge and friends and family.  Everyday this places gives to me, encouragement and the ability to handle just about anything because of it.......Take a moment to count your blessings people, I am sure you will be overwhelmed with just how blessed you are....
OH and don't forget to say THANK YOU for those blessings...

Thank you all for taking the time to read this blog, I am blessed with great friends and family.  Have a wonderful night...go play in the snow and enjoy!!!!

the friendly female farmer

I Dare you!!!!!!!

How often have you let an opportunity pass you by and then later on regret that you didn't take that opportunity. As I look back, I have tons of missed opportunities and regrets. Yet I am here in the present taking a step towards an opportunity that will prove to be a opportunity of a lifetime, and I am still questioning should I be chosen to go...will I? Takin the leap off a high cliff with no net below you is a pretty daunting thought. This is what this feels like to me...a totally foreign country, and no one I know there to comfort me when I am homesick...Its all about me and my ability to adapt and succeed...I haven't even been selected and I am scared to death. However, I am struck by a knowing feeling....that I will be selected, I will go on this amazing trip and I will come back an even better more inspired Beth.
Life is full of missed opportunities and regrets....why not go on from this very moment with the thought that you will not miss any of these and live with no regrets....Its simple really, let go of your negative thought patterns and jump off the cliff, though you don't see the net down there, it will appear at the moment you need it most.....
I DARE YOU!
the friendly female farmer

Give and give and give........

Isn't it nice to think of a world full of people who are generous and giving.....I think so!  I want more than anything to be able to give all the time.  I like to take care of people....and I also like a little taking care of now and again...
Lately I have been feeling incredibly generous and want to give as much as I can..Mind you I am a full time student and farmer...not a whole lot of financial abundance at the moment.  However, you need not worry because doing what most would consider small gestures is what has made the biggest impact on me this last week or so....
Last week I stopped at Dunkin Donuts and paid for a women going through the drive through.  I was waiting for my drink and happened to turn around and there was this woman standing there staring at me.  She asked if I was the one who had paid for her order, and I replied that I had.  She asked if I had simply done this from the kindness of my heart?  I again said yes...all the while getting very emotional....She hugged me, thanked me again and said she would do the same for someone that day as she had been inspired by my act of kindness.....Now it wasn't a big deal, like 2 dollars added onto my bill, but I got a hug from a complete stranger and I never stopped smiling the rest of the day....
I was moved the next day to pay for the next two people in line at the toll booth...I got a big beep and wave from the pickup behind me on the way through the exit....
These gestures were very small monetarily, but big on emotion and impact on me.....I am trying to do some small things everyday for people I encounter.....and now animals as well.  For the first time in my dog owning career, we have adopted a dog and she will be coming to the farm this weekend to live her forever life on our amazing yet to be renamed farm.....
Take the time today folks to make a small gesture...it may turn out to be huge for you and the person who receives it....
Thanks so much for taking the time to hang with me for a moments...Its greatly appreciated.

the friendly female farmer.....

Dream continued.....foreva and eva!!!

Dreams do come true....it can happen to you...if you are among the young at heart.....
 I am sure you have heard this somewhere before......but why do I have to be Young at heart to dream and have it come true...don't we deserve to have our dreams come true at any age? 
Its been one hell of a struggle to get where I am now and I am just beginning my dream.  I have tried and failed in the most recent past to make this dream work. but the funny thing is you need the right support and people in your life to make that work.
What most people see in there minds when the word farm is mentioned is not at all what I think of when I think of the word farm...I have never been really fond of the association with smelliness, animals and farm equipment littering the driveway.....That is the farthest thing from my thoughts and desires when I dream about this place in a state of completion.  Currently that is not far off from reality, but heck we are just starting out, and someone left this place totally neglected for 10 years before we moved in.  It can be hard to explain to some people what this place can be, and until I can get it all drawn down on paper, sometimes its hard for me to picture as well.  I just know that its going to be beautiful and people are going to flock here for relaxing afternoons...eating and drinking our food and drinks....enjoying the animals and their friends and families company......
The gardens would be fragrant and abundant with blossoms and fruit and veggies....the animals all cheerful and playful....the food to die for and the company exquisite.  Its a place I would travel to and visit if it weren't my own....the lucky part is...that it is my own and I get to be here everyday.  If you are a real friend of mine, and you follow my facebook and Pinterest posts, you can see a bit of what my style is and how this place is going to look....Its going to be a romantic gentlewomans farm, where everyone and anyone can have a memorable day.....Each day since we bought the farm has been memorable and I look forward to the memories we will continue to create here...My good friend commented on my post last night and said our dream farms are made with blood sweat and tears....so far all of those have been given to the good earth and this farm and I am sure to have much more to give.....but without this love....blood...sweat...and tears this farm would have never felt love again...it appreciates it and so do I...in more ways than one....

To all my friends....NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAM!!!!!!!

PS
.If I won the extreme powerball jackpot, I would open the farm to the public a few days a week and feed the people who came to visit for free....

I am going out to hang with my goatie girls....... Ya'll have a great night!

the friendly female farmer!

Dream..DreamDreamDream.........

While sitting at a friends house on Thursday....adoring her month old baby, she told me I should write more about me "dream".  It will give people an opportunity to really know you..she said.  At the time it did kind of strike me...I dream my dream inside my head everyday....why not share it with you guys....right.  It will give me a chance to write it all down, and document my thoughts on the process of how this dream is going to become my living reality. 
Lets begin at the beginning shall we....Farming is in my blood, my father is one of 13 children raised on a big farm.  His brothers and sisters all had duties growing up, responsibilities that molded and shaped them all into wonderful adults.  Though I didn't grow up on a farm, there was always some type of farming going on...we gardened and raised chickens and turkeys and rabbits.  My mother canned and we had shelves of garden veggies fresh for a winter dinner...Always there were potatoes, and apples and a giant crock of salt pork.  I can remember being in awe, when asked to go to the basement at my grandmothers for a jar of dilly beans.....Shelves as far as my little eyes could see full of canned goods.  We lived simply and happily feeding ourselves as much as we could with what land we had....It was awesome.  I loved digging in the dirt to plant veggies or flowers, and I absolutely dance for joy when the first seedlings pop up from the earth......Its a feeling most can not surpass..the feeling of rebirth and growth...
So when I think of farming I think of where this farm is going to be and how its going to look.....and most importantly...what is going to happen here at this farm....We have some amazing ideas for the farm.....and this will be the journey from start to someday finish of at this very moment what we refer to as "no name farm".....
Hope you will stick with me and come on this journey with me....I look forward to having you along...
Thanks Aimee!
the friendly female farmer...