Sad but True........

Positive thinking is incredible, it can manifest lots and lots of things, and everyday I see the incredible power of this.  I am however not invincible in my ability to create my desires.  I have days when my positive abilities dwell beneath the surface of the earth, with the worms.  Underground where I just can't seem to reach down and dig it out.  Though the gods have been smiling down on me, and one good thing after another has been happening for me, I am perplexed as to why I can't see to manifest one very important thing to make this dream a reality.  MONEY....the end all and be all of the continuation of this crazy adventure.  We work our kesters off, to pay bills, and buy wood.  Grain and mason jars, seedlings and groceries....and there seems to not be enough left over for the dream kitchen and dairy.  For this farm to be financially viable, we must have a dairy that is able to be licensenced by the state of Maine, and a kitchen that can be as well.  Currently we are giving away as much cheese as we can make, and milk to whom ever would like it.  The ice cream we make is incredible and I could make a simple living on the ice cream alone, if I only had a commercial ice cream machine.  Not to mention what its going to cost just for the labels for all this milky goodness....Don't get me wrong.  I am not complaining, just sending it out to you all and the universe that I need some help.....I need a Philanthropic Knight in shining  armor to come and save me from my distress.  When I day dream about this farm, I do it with the mindset of having a bottomless checkbook, and although the money if flowing freely, the farm is never ostentatious or overdone.  Its simple and classy and open to whom ever wants to visit.  To whomever want to come and learn, how to farm, how to care for animals, how to cook and entertain...To whomever want to come and talk about their dreams they have been afraid to pursue.  This farm WILL be a place for people of all ages who have felt the crushing denial of their dreams, it will be a place to learn things that you have always wanted to know about farming and its potential, and how it can be incredibly stimulating for all aspects of your life.  It will be a place to find who you are.  It has been that place for me, In such a short period of time, Just over a year I have come to the simple realisation that being who you are and loving that person is incredibly important to your success in life.  I am passionate about this lifestyle and its rewards, and it rewards me everyday.  Now with all this positivity if I can just manifest a power ball win, or wealthy investor in a really cool local farm I would be set for life....So I will not let the tiny creeping negative thoughts out weight the positive and somehow....someway I will have this dairy and commercial kitchen so our Delicious goat milk products can be enjoyed by our friends and neighbors.....
I thank you all for keeping up with this crazy ramblings of a friendly female farmer....
Nighty Night....

Why did you name it smiling goat farm?

Seriously!  How could you resist that smile?  Mae and her naughty goat herd mates are constantly sporting that shit eatin grin.  Goats smile alot.  I'm not sure if its because they are always happy, or if they enjoy the hijinks's they are always getting into?  I'm sure its a mixture of the two really.  Goats seem unfazed by the daily grind so to speak.  They are a great animal to use as a comparison to the positive way of thinking about life.  Eating grain is definitely like meditating for them....at least they seem the most ZEN while they are chowing down the sweet feed.  As long as they have green grass, scrubby shrubs and sunny days....they continue to smile....Even on the rainy ones, I can get a smile for a salted peanut.  We named the farm simply for the goats....they have helped us from the very beginning of this journey.  They provide us with an incredible fresh product...which more people need to be enjoying by the way.....They provide us with companionship and friendship...They are definitely confidants.  They are warm bodies to lay your head against while milking in the dead of winter....I could go on and on...They are lovely animals!  So that's why we named the farm Smiling Goat Farm! 

Its Over....all over....

Two Years....of homework and studying, cut fingers and stained coats...amazing plates and devine desserts.....Of Raping Environmental science teachers and incredible art teachers.....of female chefs who inspired me...each and every class.....and its all over.....
I woke this am totally physically and mentally exhausted....I had been holding in all the tired and crazy for months now....and I really needed to just sleep it all off.  I have been trying not to think of the Beth outside of YCCC.  Who she will be?  Its odd leaving school and I wonder just how many people feel this way after a long stint at college...focusing all your energy on one thing..and suddenly having to focus it elsewhere. 
Well my friends its the next step in the adventure of the friendly female farmer....I hope you will all stay with us to see us progress....

the friendly female farmer

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.......

Its getting late on Sunday night.  The Sunday night before my last 3 days of classes at YCCC.  Boy oh boy it has gone quickly.  As I am sitting at the table, writing thank you notes to the people who have helped me through and inspired me to be more and do better, I can't help but think back on the past two years at school and what had brought me to YCCC.  As I have said a few times in the past few speeches I have had to give.....I never thought in a million years I would be here. Until I made the decision to go back to school, I felt lost and wasn't sure what I wanted to be when I grew up.  Its something I am sure many people suffer from.  I found myself while going through the culinary program at YCCC.  I figured out who I really am, and I am totally OK with that.  I have made the decision that I will do only the things that motivate me, because when you do what you love the money follows you.  I have experienced so many wonderful things in the past 2 years.  I have made contacts and networks that I never would have found, had I not decided to come back to school.  I was never a good student, however I don't believe that was totally my fault, and I simply have to wonder, if my past educational experiences had been anything like what I had at YCCC, might I be in a different place?  The past is the past thought, and as I move forward onto another adventure in my life, I will take my experience at this wonderful college with me for years to come.  So thank you, to my wonderful husband for suggesting and supporting me the whole time.  I love you with all my heart and am so happy we are FINALLY together.  To my parents, who just get cooler and cooler....thanks for trying everything I make and loving it......You two are the best parents any girl could ask for.  To my wonderful siblings, for simply being you....Love you both so much. To my girlfriend Jess for all the laughs we have had over the past 2 years.  I love ya, and will miss having labs with you, but I know we will be two of the most successful graduates YCCC has ever seen....( Positive thinking is powerful stuff people )   To my friends and family who have tried and loved my food as well, and continue to ask me for recipes....the cookbook is in the works...
Finally to my YCCC family....without you all I would not have had the success I have had.  Your support and guidance has meant the world to me.  I love you all and will miss you a great deal.  So here is the a week full of finals and saying goodbye to a great time....
Thank You.....Thank You......Thank You...........

the friendly female farmer.....