Academic and Personal Excellence.....On the brink of my own discovery!

Lets start this blog with the fact that up until very recently, I was not the best student.  I have never been formally tested for a learning disability.  I do however believe that I am one of those students that does not excel, in the normal, status quo learning environment.  I am a tactile learner, I like to touch things and feel the process of learning....I think this is one of the reasons I have excelled at cooking.  Why I am a passionate gardener, love to draw and being a farmer and working with animals is such a comfort to my psyche.  I really enjoy doing things with my hands.  The reasoning behind this blog is mostly because in the past few years I have been nothing but successful.  In all forms of my educational adventure.  Meaning that not only have I gotten exceptional grades, but I have learned life lessons in the process of getting those grades. Teaching is a very honorable profession.  I honestly believe that one day this will be my very own destiny and I hope to make an impact on my students in the way that the teachers that I can look back upon have impacted my life and education.  My former educational years were very much a struggle for me. Looking back at it now, I don't honestly have much memory of anything good....Its very sad.  I had very low self esteem, I was bullied and teased.  I didn't get the best grades and I passed most of my classes by the skin of my teeth.  So looking back, I have to wonder if I would have been better off, being home schooled or put into a different type of learning environment?  Then the next question might be,  where I might be today instead of where I am.  At this point I wouldn't want to be anywhere else honestly.  I know one thing for sure, I want to continue on with educating myself on lots of different subject, in the hopes that I can share with others who are interested in those same subjects.  See it seems to me that you must have a passion for anything that you do in life.  Your passions must motivate you to excel.  I believe that certain people will come into your life to show you the way to achieve your goals, and honestly it hasn't been till the very recent part of my life that those people have come forward.  This again brings me to the thought of "What if"....What if those people had been present in my very young life?  Yet the past is the past and we are living for this moment and the moments that come after it, learning from the past yet not dwelling on it.  I have learned great lessons from my past. One of the lessons I have learned it to ALWAYS believe in yourself.  No matter how many people tell you, that you CAN'T.  That you are not college material ( actually said to me by my high school guidance counselor ), that you can't play college level basketball, ( by my high school basketball coach ) that you can't do this or that....that you don't have the intelligence for one career path or another.....I may not have gotten to the first string of the team, but I would have given my very best effort to support my team...and just so you know I am college material, my success have shown that.  Not everyone is cut out for college right out of high school, the drop out rate and amount of alcohol poisoning shows us that.... Some people like myself who are told that they CAN'T do things take that notion very seriously and believe it for many years....Until the most amazing supportive people come into your lives and change your belief systems a bit.  The people that show you, and tell you that you can and will succeed and becoming the someone you always dreamed you could be.  5 or 6 years ago I would have never thought I would be in this place....Sitting in an apartment in Ireland, a George Mitchell Peace Scholar, having graduated with Honors from college.  I have successes beyond my wildest dreams, because I had people who loved and supported me and actually believed that I could do it.  Who didn't say I couldn't...but said I could if I simply believed in myself.  Those people will always be in my memory cheering me on, no matter where I am in my life.  I chose now to forget the people who said that I couldn't.  Because I have been touched so intensely by teachers and educators lately, I just want them to know how appreciative that I am.  The role has been taken up by not only your typical educator, but by friends, family and loved ones.  So very simply I say thank you.  For seeing in me, what it took me a bit longer to see....I love you all and appreciate every last bit of effort!  I will not forget and intend to pay it forward.  

the friendly female farmer. 

Live without regrets...and always say I LOVE YOU!

So I have started this blog a few times now looking for just the right way to express my emotions.  This is a truly heartfelt bit of words and I want them to have the proper affect.  

Considering my work load is not over extensive here in Ireland, I have had an incredible amount of time to think.  To look back at my life, access it..take from it what I will and move on to the next thing.  Yet I always seem to come back to the same notion.  The love and appreciation for the people that mean the most in our lives.  Missed opportunities and regrets.  As for the love and apprecition part.  I honestly can't say enough, how very important it is for you to say I love you, to your spouce, your children, your parents and grandparents....or your bff for that matter.  Some people have a hard time saying it, other have a hard time accepting the words, but the gesture and the meaning can be really profound.  Consider this.....It may be the very last time you say them.  Think about that for just a moment.  You will NEVER again be able to tell that person...whom you in fact love very much, that you do...NEVER in this physical world will you say it.  I am not sure about you, but I just got very emotinal.  So that means everybody, take the time to get in contact with your loved ones and say it.  Make an effort to make things better if they are not the best.  Those three little words can make someone the happiest they have ever been...and you have given very minimal effort...

Missed opportunities and regrets cloud my emotions, especially in regards to loved ones.  Yet after this cathartic blog, I intend to move forward with no regrets and never to miss another opportunity offered to me.  One of my biggest regrets is not getting to know my Pepere St. Pierre.  Granted, its a shame, I couldn't have been older and wiser while he was in the prime of his life.  To sit and talk to him about what it was like to have a very large family and what it took to feed and cloth that family.  The work ethic that man had, has runneth over into his children and I see it in my father every time he comes to help us do something at our farm. The blood is strong, and I am thankful that it has passed down into my body as well.  My pepere saw and experienced hardships that I can only begin to imagine, but persevered, and became a well established man in his community.  I just remember being scared to death of him.  He was a big man, and kind of gruff...at least that was my  perception.  I do believe he was a teddy bear on the inside, who very dearly loved his wife and children and the brood of grandchildren...The thing I regret about our lack of relationship is that I could have learned so much from him.  Especially when it came to farming.  I am the only one in a very large group of grandchildren who has chosen farming as a career path, so his knowledge would have lived on through me, and passed on to hopefully my children someday.  Yet I missed the opportunity because other things at the time seemed more important to me.  Selfish child like behavior and thoughs have denied me the moments it would have taken to talk to this wonderful man and hear his stories.  So for the rest of mylife I will have to take his guidance as its given, in my head and in my dreams.  

So I guess what I am saying is, in this month with all the thankfulness going on, take a moment and actually honestly think of what you are truly thankful for.  For the people, your family who have molded your life, given you goals to strive to.  This blog is a definite

reminder that I still have one grandparent who is living,  My pepere's wife Jane, and I must take every opportunity to get to know her better and spend time with her before she decides its time to go be with her husband.  So don't live with regrets, take a hold of your life and all that its given you and say Thank You.  Make the most of every relationship you are given the opportunity to experience.  I will from this very moment, live without regrets and take my opportunities where they are given.  

Thank you!  I love you all for taking the time to read this.  I hope you go out today and make someones day by saying those three little words.  

the friendly female farmer..........

Homesickness....Its all relative!

Lets just say that I have been a little homesick....I've mentioned this in posts on Facebook and have had lots of keep your chin up comments...Please don't take me missing home as being unappreciative of my opportunity.  I ask you to all, walk in my shoes for a minute and get the thought out of your head that this experience is a "incredible vacation with nothing but excitement around every turn"...because that is just not the case.  In all seriousness, 85% of the time Kori and I are in our rooms, perusing Facebook, twitter, pinterest and YouTube...to simply occupy our brains from utter boredom.  We go for walks to see our Irish horses...and when we go out to the city we have a blast, and when we go on adventures we also really enjoy ourselves.....Getting away from the dorms is key....Otherwise this leaves lots of time to be inside your own head.  Thinking about all the things that are going on at home, that you feel like you are missing out on...I know there is always next fall, but it just seems so far away...
In all honesty, the homesickness is in regards to my husband.  I knew this was going to be hard being away from him..but I didn't realize how much.  I have thought about our relationship so much over this initial time that I have been here.  Its given me time to reflect.  Its interesting now to me,  to think of the fact that somehow I have always wanted him, ...from the very beginning of our relationship years ago when I first went to the farm.  Now we are together, but separated and it is very difficult, because I feel like he is a part of me physically.  So it causes me pain to miss him, to be away from him.  Counting down the days on my desk calendar seems to help.  Talking to him on Skype helps even more...but its all relative in comparison to others out there who might be experiencing homesickness, or missing loved ones or what have you.  I say this because my friend Holly Witt has just recently lost her husband.  Tragically lost him...in such a way,  knowing how I love Frank, I'm not sure I could be as strong as she has been.  She is blogging through the pain and letting us all in to see her raw emotions.  Every time I read it, though its inspirational, I cry...as if it was my husband that has died...because the pain is so real and honest.  I feel like I really should pull up my big girl panties and move forward, because soon this trip will be over and I will get to run and hug my husband at the airport...Holly only has photos and memories of the man of her dreams.  Because she is so strong, because she is amazing in letting us into her life, I feel stronger and feel as if I owe it to her to be that way.  This is only temporary pain for me....not for her however...and everyday she moves on and says something wonderfully inspiring via Facebook.  So I miss home, I miss my husband! But because of HOlly's blog I feel stronger and can't possibly thank her enough for letting us see what she is going through with the blog.  She is an inspiration....truly....and I love her for it......So Thank you Holly Witt!  Love and Hugs from Ireland...
the friendly female farmer!

Obviously American.......

So far in our adventure here in Ireland, we have met two other "American's"  Granted they are from Canada, but for most of the folks here in Ireland that is close enough, kinda like Maine...I get a lot of the "oh yeah, that's Boston right".......I cringe a bit and say...close enough...hahahhahaaha...There is a large group of Brazilians and some French students......the French students we are slowly getting to know..the Brazilians are a harder group to break into...
But our american accents...and at that our very Mainer accents stands out heavily....I can't begin to count the times we have been asked..."Where are you from", like its not blatantly obvious...  we are then asked where we have gone sight seeing and then told places we should go..This has mostly been from our lively and entertaining cab drivers... More often than not that advice includes a bar or two....We have been to a few and they are all wonderful......I am not sure 3.5 months here is going to be enough to see all the incredible scenery that Ireland has to offer, or get to all the pubs for a pint.... but we are going to give it our best shot.
Camera toting, and umbrella wielding could also be good signs that we are not from around these parts....Most if not all that I have seen go around bare headed, or with a slicker with a hood....I have seen a few little old ladies with there very nice umbrellas out, but the youngins brave the mizzle.  Lets just say its a dang good thing my hair is naturally curly...Not going to get much sexy straight hair here in Ireland. Every time we attempt it, the mistiness of the day curls the little hairs around my ears and then its all over....
Though we are very very far from home, and homesickness has been prevalent, at least for me.  We are slowly beginning to develop bonds with our Irish friends.  Mark our bartender and the bouncer Dave at our little Pub in our building are wonderful.  Both will be receiving
 invites to our Thanksgiving celebrations.  For there friendship and wonderful advice....
The incredible staff at CIT, we have had nothing but the run around since we got here and through it all Carmel has been there, to reassure us that it would all get straightened out.
 Because of my success at school back in the US, I have been offered a student teaching position, or student assistant position, however you would like to put it in two classes...A very big deal for me.
So one little success after another keeps happening.....all due to the belief that positive comes from positive...Yes I miss my husband and family, sometimes I just want to go home and say hell with it all....but I know in my heart that would be giving up on something so incredible, I would feel regret the rest of my days.  

Yesterday Kori and I set out on an adventure all by ourselves...We went to Blarney Castle and kissed the infamous stone of elouqence.....The grounds were breathtaking and I was transformed into a medievel maiden, Wishing my heart out on the wishing steps and leaving my sacrafice on the witches stone....For a few hours I don't think I even really touched the ground I was so happy.....Life is a gift and I am happy to receive.....So thank you Universe..and George Mitchell......

Settling IN.............

I apologize for not giving you folks a constant stream of information in regards to this trip....and I am not one to usually make excuses for my actions.  My reasoning seems totally legitimate in my own mind, so we will go with that..Besides If I give you detailed information about my every move you may just get bored with me and move onto something much more entertaining and interesting..
We have been here for 11 days, and I am not going to lie, it has been a struggle.  From the initial loss of our luggage, to sleeping on a bed that I am sure was trying to murder me in my sleep...what little there has been of that...to finding that classes here were so laid back that missing the first week doesn't seem to upset anyone to badly. In the last few years, I have learned that everything has a lesson, somehow intertwined with the experience and again the lesson to learn for me is to calm the hell down...take a breath and let it wash over me.  I have got the greatest partner in crime in this adventure a girl could ask for....A friend and confidant...A lovely person who I am sure will be in my life for years to come...I have said it before and will say again here, that with out Miss Kori Kinney I am not sure I would have made it through the first few days.....We have each other to lean on and bitch to, so again I am thankful for that experience as well.  There are so many more days for our relationship to develop and I really look forward to it.  As we are settling in and making friends, seeing the sights and going to our classes, I am reminded that I am over here for the "experience" of Ireland.  Which in fact so far has been an experience...everyday brings something new to deal with and enjoy and I feel like I am going to come out of this a bit of a different person...and considering my current wonderfulness, just imagin how cool I will be when I get back to the states....I wouldn't even mind if I had a permanent Irish accent, ya know cause its sexy as hell....
I miss everyone back home....especially my husband...and my family very much...but I will be so much more the better for having done this, taking the time for BETH, in a way I have never done before....
So thanks again for checking in....I will be chatting a bit more regularly now that I have taken the moment needed to smell the roses....sneeze and smell again.....
LOVE YA'LL

the friendly female farmer....

Uptight American girl in Ireland!

Ok, so I thought I was laid back...Ya Right! The Irish are the epitome of laidbackness.  So far they don't seem to worried that we haven't really got a contact person to deal with.  The poor dear is having a family emergency and didn't come to work today.  Which is fine, except I keep trying to compare my experience at my wonderful community college in Maine to this experience.  Let me just say folks, that they are super stretched out on the spectrum.  At YCCC if I had an issue, it was resolved right in front of me and we went along on our merry way.  The classes I wanted were available and perfectly scheduled to meet my needs.  So far we haven't even been able to talk to anyone about what it is we are actually able to take for classes, let alone sign up for them...We are unable to get our student ID's because we lack access to printers here at the dorms, which is by the way an 8 minute or so walk to the college...and the ONLY means of transportation.  Unless of course you got a international license and took your life into your own hands and drove on the wrong side of the road.  Which I have no intention of doing, because I want to go home to Maine in one piece and not in a coffin. Its also the land of tiny cars.  Not many full size SUV here in Ireland, and if you saw the size of some of the streets you would not be surprised either...  Jeez Louise they drive aggressively here......I was told in no uncertain terms, by the cabbie that drove us from the bus stop to Edenhall, that "NO" they did not drive aggressively....Ya right dude..ok!
So I don't want to sound incredibly negative, because as they say its all part of the "experience".  The people are wonderful, they have wonderful accents, that at times I am unable to understand, and have on more than one occasion stood in front of someone like a deer in the headlights because I didn't understand a work they said....hehehe...Oh well the feeling has been reciprocal, as its happened the other way around as well...
We are supposed to get our luggage tomorrow, which would be incredible, but I still do not have access to a bank until we get our id cards figured out on Monday.  So far my list of things to tell the next set of Mitchell Scholars is growing at an exponential rate....I hope to not overwhelm them, and as we move forward I am SURE that things will settle down and become routine....We look forward to the societies and the international club...which offer great ways to get around the city and explore and offer great activities like going to the Greyhound Races....
I apologize but I won't have any pictures until the luggage arrives and I get all my electronic cables back.  So here's to developing a better sense of laidbackness while I am here!

Last Night in Casco........

Its my last night at the farm for 3+ months...Tomorrow at 230pm I grab the bus to Logan.  Its the first part of my journey to a country I have never been to.  Ireland has always been on my bucket list of travel destination. So being able to check it off the list at this point in my life is incredible.    I feel so many things right now. I feel incredibly lucky, and I feel terrified and excited all at the same time.  I am really not looking forward to leaving my husband.  I wish there was a way for him to come and visit and experience part of my adventure with me.  Leaving him and my family is all part of the journey.  I feel like I have double and triple checked my bags and I am sure I will repack once more in the morning.  I have my passport and all important paperwork....I think, I hope...I believe I have everything....probably more than I need....but hell its 3 months....
So I will post what I can tomorrow via my facebook account...and will be sure to post a blog post on here when I am settled into the dorm....Pictures will be forth coming as I take them...keeping you all up to date on my adventure the very best I can....

Thanks Ya'll
the friendly female farmer.....