Oh...the times, they are a changing....

Imagine if you will,  someone with a lovely voice, singing the title to this blog post...close your eyes and listen.  With perfect pitch, inflection and balance...

Does it make you have the FEELS???   Is the tension in your chest and behind your eyes almost to much to bare? Building...building, like the crescendo of a song...  Do you feel an excitement pushing toward giddiness? The kind that makes you laugh till you cry uncontrollably...wondering what got you started on this blast of emotional quackery?
Hells yeah....Me too!!!
At this time in my life I feel a bit of both, I am just over 2 months away from my 40th birthday.  The life beyond that is a shiny new journal, blank pages....ready to fill....Literally so much can be written in that empty space, the potential is infinite, and I am sure that is what is causing the tension and the giddiness.

Honestly, I feel like I am about to jump off the biggest cliff of my life.  Its terrifying, that feeling of being able to let go totally....my toes are curled over the edge just slightly, gripping on for dear life, breathing deep down into my stomach, I bend my knees, reach up to the heavens and jump, out into open air, into another aspect of my journey.

Change is a powerful entity in life.  I know that my personality and lifestyle is going to change dramatically in the next year or so, its all developmental. I am embracing my cocoon this winter, with anticipation of the spring.  I do not however  intend to overlook or undermine the process.
(I) Honestly never felt like I was ready before now, or deserving somehow. 
I have for much to long pushed down under my thumb the desire to be who I am. 
This all sounds very melodramatic, I mean I'm not about to come out or anything.....at least not as what you would expect.............

OK here goes.....I'm a FARMER and I am damned proud of it.  You know the Beth that is the happiest?  Farmer Beth, when I have to paint my fingernails to hid the dirt, that's when I am happiest,
As I look back, in my life, at this blog I see a recurring theme, pertaining to, interestingly enough my time in nature and love for a little thing called farming.  So why then have I pushed it to the back burner of my life, why has this love and passion not been in the forefront of all my scheming to move forward?

Fear...., a nagging feeling of unacceptance,  an all negative, soul sucking, bring you down to the the depths of hell, the fear of failing and the fear of hearing I told you so....Does this seem trivial and totally inconsequential in the grand scheme of things....maybe to you, but the struggle is real inside my head most days.  Its a dream killer Fear, I have called it out to duel and I intend to hit my mark dead center, striking it down.

Thanks for listening...

Thefriendlyfemalefarmer!

Much to long!!

Its been much much to long since my last confession...ahem...I mean of course, blog post!
Can I just say that life has been a bit crazy, unpredictable and just a plain ole shit show at times.  Hey I'm not making excuses, because I typically can't be bothered by others who do.  So I'm gonna pull the lazy card.  After working 10-12 hours in a restaurant, all I want to do is come home drink Jameson and throw my feet on the ottoman. 

But all those days of drinking the golden goodness, and sitting with me feet on the stool, I've been thinking about this damned blog.

I honestly feel like I have abandoned a live animal of sorts, a pet even, and I cannot tell you the guilt I have felt at the thought of all the blog followers I could have potentially captured and all the millions of dollars I could have earned with AD Words....ha ha ha, ok so the second part of that sentence seems a tad redick if ya know what I mean, but a girl can dream can't she.  In all honesty though, I have felt a bit lost without my little friend and the small musings that I did, on a semi regular basis. 

I'm not going to make any silly challenges that I can't live up to.  I am simply going to write. My lack of grammar and punctuation be damned.  I am going to look into a writing class though...to spruce up my skills if you will. I do have a secret little dream of one day writing a story...one that has been in my head since I was a kid. Well I guess its not a secret now is it.  :)
So instead of feeling guilty, and walking by the computer every night in search of some mind numbing TV show, I am going to write, here on this blog and in my big black book.  There is something very soothing about writing in a big book, seeing your hands put down what your mind is reeling to tell...

Oh and there is so much to tell, and talk about and question.  I have tried in the past to stick with very neutral...easy to digest....Beth related topics.  I will likely stay close to that this time around as well, with a bit of spice thrown in here and there.  That's just the chef in me I guess.
Consider this...my husband and I have been running a small diner in Bethel, ME for the last year and 2 months.  I have experienced so so so much in that time, and have learned even more.  One thing I have learned is when and where my opinion is given is totally up to me.  I am in control of my own mouth, but I also have a right to my opinion and sometimes....sometimes I might say it out loud, instead of just think it to myself...you get my drift? My intention is always positive, and I won't be looking to stir the pot! But sometimes you just gotta say what you gotta say...consequences be damned.

So welcome back if you've been here before....and a big HOWDY to those that haven't...

I remain always...the friendly female farmer!!!

Crying over spilled milk and broken pto's.......

In the daily life of a farmer, you can be damned sure something will bring you to the brink of tears.  I say this from the perspective of a female farmer of course.  I haven't seen my male farmer friends crying, but I have seen a few wrenches, buckets and hay forks fly through the air in my vicinity...

Its all very romantic to think about farming and the joys it can bring.  The reality though is often very different.  I am not sure if its the universe is giving us a test to see if we can cut the mustard or tow the line as a farmer.  I know I have cried through a few of those tests, and come out on the other side of it smiling.  Yet in the moment, the only thing to do for me is just to let it out.  

I think back to my very first experience milking my very own goat.  Shana was a sweet goat, who I loved very much...She stood on the stand, feet nicely planted eating her sweet feed like a champion.  My hands were unaccustomed to the task, and for the first 6-10 minutes, I just couldn't get that dang teat to produce any milk.  Shana just looked around the corner of the stanchion at me and grinned...I could actually hear her  mocking me...

Finally I just let it come, the tears just flowed down, I rested my forehead against the side of my new goat and cried and cried...you know the ugly kind of crying.....ya that kind.....

It was just what I needed to do,  it helped to release Shana's milk. The stress and lack of self esteem in my chosen task definitely didn't help my attempts, but after a good cry, we moved on.  I did finally get my hands to work and we got a nice warm pint of goats milk to show for it.  Through out the years of homesteading and farming I have had many moments that were ladden with tears.  I think for me it helps to move past the current crazyness that is happening.  It allows you to take that moment, see it for what it is and step away with a fresh view of your task.

I even cried because I couldn't pound in a nail.  It just didn't want to go into the wood for me, and I took that as a major affront to my nailing abilities...and when the men folk are giggling about your situation it only makes it worse.  Cried...YUP and I am pretty sure I threw the hammer.  After my little fit, I nailed nails with the best of em.  

Each situation is different, some so crazy and frustrating you just have to cry...others a toss of the handy tool will suffice. 

There is a lesson to be learned here.  Sometimes you just can't help but get to the place where tears or throwing things is the only way to fix it.  Yet if we simply take a moment to be present in our daily lives we will be able to recognize that our situation is beginning to reach toward frustration. Take your time, breath....Let the negative go.......and look to the positive that will ultimately be your outcome. Smile and be thankful you are here to have these experiences. 

So there ya go peeps...cry, throw things, scream shout and swear...but in the end know you will make it through and it will all be fine...you can always pour another glass of milk.....

Ohhh...the times, they are ah changin!

Man is that an understatement!  First and foremost, I have disappointed myself and probably some of the people who had been following this blog, by dropping the blog ball...I shall make no excuses, life just got in the way.  I am not sure how people like Ree Drummond ( Pioneer Woman ) do it.
Thinking back over the months I have been away from writing, had I just done a bit of it the times I was thinking of doing it, I may just have fell into something totally inspiring and wonderful.  Instead I was just day dreaming of writing, and did some other task, I felt more worthy of my time. Usually some menial, unsatisfying task.  I had a guilty nagging feeling the whole time I was gone however...Somehow something felt missing.  Mostly because I like this whole blog thing..I get to feel and act and write silly things. Who wouldn't like to do that.
So NO PROMISES!  NO CHALLENGES! I am simply going to live my life...and hope that I can sneak in a bit of time to get my thoughts and observations down.  I should roll this into the "making more time for me" list, but somehow it makes it feel more like a task I need to get done, than going with the daily flow.

As we approach the end of 2014, like most everyone else, I am taking a moment to look back over it and appreciate the moments, the friendships made, the fun times had and smile in the glow of those experiences.  I have oh so much to be thankful for, and feel lucky to be going forward to another year, with a Man I love and adore and couldn't be happier with.

You see...as the title of this blog states, the times have changed big time for us.  Our beloved farm in Casco is no longer, due to circumstances beyond our control, we had to move.  Moving is a very difficult and stressful situation for all involved, and as many times as we have moved in the last few years, this time did not come any easier.  Imagin moving the stuff in a bedroom farm house and the contents of a barn to another location an hour away in the winter...WICKED GOOD TIMES YESSA!

 Yet in all this crazyness, we have found peace.  A calm has come over us, that is different than we felt at the farm in Casco.  Our new location is a farm as well, surrounded by reaching mountains, and stretched out hay fields...it felt like home the second I saw it.

Even though there are still a few trips left to be made, and somethings that will simply have to wait till spring, we have made our home in Bethel.  It is my intention to stay for a very very very long time....

Until next time Ya'll

the friendly female farmer

Summah..In Maine....

Now I am not complaining by any means, In fact I won't even utter a word of complaint in regards to the weather this early spring and beginning of summah...We have gotten a bit of rain and a bit of heat.  I do look forward to more heat..and less rain, but still not complaining.  I am sure we will have plenty of wonderful weather days to go adventuring this lovely state.  Tomorrow we will be doing a touristy get away and will be parking our butts in the sand down at OOB.  Lets hope for a sunburn and a buzz on, both of which I am sure will happen....
Maria and I have been so far keeping a pretty low profile as she gets settled into her American home.  She has found employment while she is here and is getting to know the local way of things.  Its wonderful having her here, and I wish she could stay forever....But I will be sure to follow her to the Caribbean when she opens her livery stable.
So needless to say, we have been busy some days and others not so much.  There are some days you just need to chillax and enjoy your surroundings....

On another farm note, we have the first two baby goats of the summer on the ground last Friday.  I am always a bit nervous during kidding, I don't get much sleep, up at all hours checking the Doe's.  I love these silly little animals, they continue to put a smile on my face on a regular basis and I am happiest in there presence.  You just can't beat an animal that will come up to you, rub there face on yours and sit down beside you for a snuggle.  They are wonderful little animals.  We have one more set of kids to come and I am a mess waiting...Just hurry up about it Shana Goat and everyone will be resting easy..especially me.

The udder on both girls looks as if they will be producing plenty of milk for kids and humans alike...I am so looking forward to the first batch of fresh goats milk ice cream.

Enjoy each moment that is given to you...Be present in your life...You never know what you might miss otherwise...

thanks...and see ya'll soon.
thefriendlyfemalefarmer...

I need a holiday from my holiday weekend.....

So its been 5 days since my last confession...ahem...I mean blog...
the days are all kinda jumbled together at this point, but I can tell you this...things got checked off the honey do list.
See I have these lists...usually the one for me is outrageously long...some with definition of my intention with the task, sometimes just the task itself.  This list typically consists of things I can do without a man.
Now don't get me wrong. I am sure I could do all these things, had I been trained properly from the beginning...but being a girl, and brought up in a time that girls are still doing girly things...I didn't take shop or automotive class, or touch the power tools to much when I was younger.  I have a healthy fear of power tools, so I tend now not to use them much...minus the power drill, I love that thing....if only I could screw everything together without every having to cut anything I would be set...NO man needed...well except for lifting heavy shit....but then of course I could get a bunch of girls over here and we could get that done to.
Total rant...and Take note...teach your girls how to do man stuff.....like change oil, tires, and use power tools safely...
Anyhoooooo....My dad came for the weekend to help me with my new chicken coop, we moved the girls into the barn in preparation for the winter months around here, and because my coop is to small for the amount of birds that I want.  We laughed a lot and worked our butts off, but now the girls have a groovy indoor coop...Now if they can just figure out to lay their eggs in the nesting box, we will be golden.
We drank and ate, and ate and drank and just generally had a great weekend.
The hubby and I worked on the yard on sunday afternoon in the beautiful sunshine.  We burned some brush and moved some fencing, this place is starting to come around.  Its such a beautiful spot.
Spring cleaning was next on the list for me yesterday, I moved some furniture around and dusted, swept and washed floors in 4 of the 5 bedrooms..OH didn't I mention this place is a monstrosity....
We are now 2 days away from the Irish Invasion and I am so excited I can barely stand myself...I am going to have a wicked go gal pal to adventure with and I just can't wait....You will be sure to have lots of picks and adventure stories to check out this summer to be sure....
So there you are a quick recap of the last few days...its been real...its been fun....its been real damn fun...
Have a great day peeps and see ya soon...
the friendly female farmer...

Monday and Tuesday......

SWEET....2804 Views of this crazy little blog...I am overwhelmed with excitement and gratitude for everyone who takes a moment to check it all out...

Soooooooo...what have we been doing here at the farm...MOWING...mowing and more mowing...did I mention that I have been mowing...My brain is all rattly from running that bush hog/lawn mowery type piece of equipment that we use to keep the bamboo from over coming the property...

I have this problem, with not being able to stop once I start.  I want our farm to be pretty, to be beautiful to look at, and enjoy while you are here.  Everything just looks nicer mowed, thats all there is to it...and Yes I have palpitations when I mow over the little violets and violas, I mowed down some jack in the pulpits before I figured out there was a whole patch, that I now need to dig up and move to a better, non mowing location...but because I am mowing, I am able to find these things, that can be saved and moved to a location they will be loved and cared for....

See this is what happens when old farms are not cared for and loved...do you know how many people have stopped and said, "oh did you know there used to be such and such plant here, or this used to grow on this property"....sadly, lots of plants are now gone, and some so lacking in care, such as the fruit trees, all need to come down and replaced because they were not cared for.

It takes someone special to take on a place that was once a farm.  Not only do you find treasures below the deep grasses, but you find junk as well...So we will concentrate on the good things we find, and toss the junk into the dump pile...continue to mow...and bring this place back to life...

Thanks for check me out...all the best to you on this foggy day...I'm off to dig fence posts...

Sunday and Monday...oh what fun days....

So I have to come to the realization that I need a proofing oven.  Now don't get me wrong, I love the fact that I can stoke up the wood stove and rise a little bread or the infamous cinnamon rolls...however, not only humans are clamoring to get a taste of the cinnamony goodness....The chihuahua thinks they are pretty damned good to...in fact so good, that he couldn't wait till they were finished, I literally had walked away to get a damp cloth to cover them, when I came back I caught the guilty bugger red mouthed....His sad little face said damn it all, I should have inhaled this like I do all my other food...

Oh well, the trials of a farm girl with no commercial kitchen.....Anyhoo, the batch on cinnamon rolls turned out heavenly....minus 1

Sunday was spent riding back and forth to NH for a birthday gathering for my step daughters, boyfriends birthday...good food and drink was consumed by all, and laughs were most definitely had.  Not much got done on the farm on Sunday...but hell sometimes you just need to break away from the place and enjoy your family and friends...

Early to bed...means early to rise and today didn't start out all that bad.  Have been puttering in the yard, picking up brush piles and moving them closer to the fire pit...mowed a bit of the lawn out back before the rain got heavy..I have a mowing fetish, once I start, I have a hard time stopping...more often then not, mowing till it runs out of gas...I just love the look of freshly mowed grass...then I took a much needed nap...but I'm still tired from the weather being dreary....Now its a waiting game for the chicken cluck clucks to go to bed, so I can close up their cage for the evening.

Food today has been simple, fresh sausage pattie for breakfast, and a delish lunch of couscous and veggies with a whole avocado on the side...yummy yummy...
I need to find a thermostat  for the fridge though, its freezing my outragously expensive organic veggies...can't be having that now can we....

Oh and tick count is 2 so far this year...One was eating me, the other was just taking a stroll...I burnt him in the ash tray.....

Thanks Ya'll for checking out my blog....views are up to 2775, I am more than thrilled to know that people out there well beyond my circle of friends are reading my crazyness...

10 days till the Irish Invasion....Can't wait....

Thanks my peeps...Have a wonderful rainy night...see ya on the flip side..

Day 3/4 rolling along....

Lets just say that the weather this morning is WET....that's the only nice word I can think of right now.   I have been up since 5 getting cinnabuns ready to go with me to a horse clinic that my wonderful farmy and horsey friend Colleen Winslow is putting on for us.  She is most definately right at the top of the list of inspirational horse women.  She is kind enough to take the time to show me and others about the Parelli way...and I am learning and taking in so much on each visit to the camp.  I am thrilled to be going this morning, as we will be discussing horsenality..."horse personality"...Very Interesting stuff...

Yesterday was a day for horses as well....Working with horses on the ground is giving your horse confidence in you...and you confidence in your horse...Its a very good opportunity to be present with your animal...and being aware of your situation and surroundings.  I couldn't help but notice the birds singing....the breeze lifting my hair when I noticed I was getting a little warm...the bugs bothering...every little thing needs a bit of consideration in your day, in my humble opinion.

So you haven't missed much in the life of this crazy farm girl...The wet will call for a fire this afternoon and couch time with the dog, as I read through my Elliot Coleman book, and look at companion planting charts...oh and design a new chicken coop.....I am looking for an old hutch, or cabinet for the laying boxes...a cute idea I saw on Pinterest.

So my faithful followers and friends...Have a wonderful day...and hopefully there will be an update for ya later on this evening....I passed out last night before I got a chance to get on the computer...not to mention service was spotty at best...Kinda like now...

As my niece used to say when she was little....really fast and jumbled all together

.................loveyouseeyalaterbye............

the friendly female farmer....

Day 2 not so tough....Ya right....

As you all know, when you start a to do list, it never seems to get shorter....Imagine my surprise, as I went outside to start one project..mowing the lawn with the giant antique lawn mower that my dad got from my uncle in SC....first 3 or 4 passes were great, then it stalled....and I couldn't get it started again...so on to the next thing...which turned into weeding a whole section of the front of house, finding out the soil beneath is terrific and with a little amenitizing we should be good for veggie/herbs and flowers...possibly even a good sight for a cold frame....which will require a bit of work as well...
I boned the chicken we had for dinner last night...made a killer chicken salad for lunch...and fed my hubby a nice healthy lunch, that he didn't have to buy at the local fast food joint...
I cleaned stalls, and did my regular chores...drove all the way to oxford for the farmers market, only to remember that it opens at 2pm on Thursday...4 hours early is a little to long to wait for the doors to open....
I played with my chickens, they follow me everywhere...so there excitement over freshly turned ground crawling with worms...made me happy in return.  More often than not the animals make me happy, and I find myself smiling and wondering what they are thinking.
I rode Gunner this afternoon, which was terrific..just a short trip out around the fields to see how he felt.  Only a single buck was hiding under the surface when I asked for the canter...nothing threatening or intimidating...just a little bad boy attitude to test me...
Took the time to sit on the deck and reflect on my accomplishments and mentally check off things on my list....Even thought it keeps getting longer...I always feel good crossing stuff off...
Finishing off the day with chicken tortillas, with cilantro, tomato, garlic and green onion...yummy...
and possible a little ice cream...we shall see how long I can stay awake after I post this blog.
So you see...its just a regular old life around here on the farm...some days are not as exciting as others....
But I am sticking to my guns...and continuing on my challenge...I found I was more present in the moment today, as I was thinking about the challenge I set for myself...

Until Next time...

the friendly female farmer...

Its a challenge...to myself....

Day 1
The challenge....its actually a number of things really....
One of the things is to do some kind of art every day...whether it be photograph, or a small drawing, or the start of a big one.  Taking the time to sit and relax and create something thoughtful.
The other thing is to blog everyday.  Hey listen if the Pioneer Woman can do it, why can't I? Hell I ain't feeding all those people on a regular basis, I am just starting out..
You know you might not want to read every single one of my blogs, but you might read one, that gets you to come and visit, or ask for a recipe, or for me to make a meal or dessert for ya..
So tonight, a fresh chicken got roasted, very simply seasoned, but laying on a whole clove of garlic, a few carrots, some onion and leeks....to go with that pan gravy.  Sides are Colcannon and Glazed Carrots...simple and delish...I can't wait the house smells great.
On a sad note we lost one of our little cluck cluck's today...she had to be one of the giant egg layers to be sure...this however is all part of farming...I will have to find a replacement for her...the fresh eggs are unsurpassed by anything bought at the grocery store..
So here is you insight into the farm as we go forward...a little bit everyday....hope you will stay tuned and share...Its been a slow start, but its our intention to keep chugging along...

OH and you don't want to miss out on our adventures with a lovely Irish Lassie by the name of Maria....

Take Care Ya'll

the friendly female farmer....

Noticeably Absent.....

So I have been noticeably absent.  I have been hiding under any large, heavy, warmth providing blanket, snuggy and afghan I can find.  I don't hate winter, when its mild I actually enjoy it very much.  This winter however, I have a bone to pick with MOTHER NATURE!  At this point, I am sick of calling the wood delivery fairy, and tired of hearing the smoke flap on our wood stoves bang up against the door as we are throwing chunks of wood into the never satisfied hopper..
So like just about every other Mainer out there, I have bitched about the winter being to long and to damned cold...so now its time to move on to something a bit more inspiring and uplifting....
SPRING...........its coming ya know.  Its actually only 10 days away, and I am so looking forward to it.  This weekend, I had big fat Robins in the apple trees.  I could actually hear birds singing.  The chickens have started to lay eggs,  the horse went off adventuring for drops under the trees.  The goats are clamoring to get out of their stalls....sounds and smells like spring to me. 
Seed order will be taking place soon and seedling starting will be on the agenda for the weekends. 
When thinking about all the things that I need to get done this summer, I stick with visualization for help.  I sit down in the evening, and visualize the project done.  I see cucumbers growing on the vines, and tomatoes ready to be picked.  It helps me not to be to overwhelmed by the length of my TO DO LIST. 
One of the things on that list is to blog more.  We have started the process of talking about our dreams and aspirations for this farm.  I have come up with a very neat and innovative idea, that we hope to talk about soon.  Teaser....Farm Culinary School!!! Details are in the works. 
We also hope to launch our website late this spring.  Which will also keep you up to date on our adventures and give you an opportunity to donate to our FARM REFURBISHMENT FUND. 

I can't even tell you as the years are passing, how each one brings new excitement for the future.  We have a TON of work that needs to be done, before we can ever have guests at the Inn, but working towards it,  is rewarding and fulfilling in a way that I didn't think was possible.  When you do the work yourself, when you cut your finger on the sheet rock knife and your blood stains the old wood boards, don't clean it up...chalk it up to just a little of the blood,  sweat and tears that will go into your labor of love.....

The Joys of Spring are almost upon us.  Take a moment, reflect on the winter and the joys and struggles.  Put it behind you and step out into the sunshine and rejoice...you have made it through and have a wonderful new season to experience. 

IF YOUR DREAMS DON'T SCARE YOU, THEY AREN'T BIG ENOUGH...............

Cheers,

thefriendlyfemalefarmer.....

Our adventure is beginning....

So we have collectively come to the conclusion, that the grocery store just has to go.  We are making a friendly seperation from its hold on us.  We are in search of  local and fresh ingredients, until the time when our gardens start to produce their bounty.  Our animals are ready to slaughter and the root cellar is filled.   Don't get me wrong, I can most definately see myself sneaking in, totally incognito of course, to grab limes ( my whiskey just isn't the same without one )  and lemons, and a few other ingredients I may or may not find at the health food stores.  My growing frustration with the grocery bill has forced us to make a drastic change.  One that I am actually really excited about.  Cooking, and putting away food, is a totally relaxing task for me.  I have on occasion talked about how I love to go out and watch the little green sprouts of spinach or lettuce break through the dark, rich soil.  Its a cathartic experience, one I enjoy so much...I am actually getting a little antsy about it, because I know its still months away.  I will get a small fix, starting some seedlings in the living room windows though...be not afraid. We will be putting in a very large garden, to produce enough food this summer for our root cellar in the fall.  We will purchase things like apples, and berries from local producers for the freezers.  Frank is a big fan of blueberry pancakes...any time of year.  In our decision to change our eating habits, its made us look at our goals for the farm in terms of animals as well.  Last spring was our first kidding season, and since the first kid dropped I was stressed about where the little bundles of cuteness would go.  After you get up in the middle of the night to make bottles for 15 goat babies, you tend to be a little territorial about where they go to live out there adult lives.  So to releave this stress, we will raise the babies and butcher them for meat for our freezer.  This will be our red meat in the freezers.  Our friend Aimee, is going to raise us a bunch of rabbits for meat, and we will be raising meat chickens for the freezer as well.  Now if I can just get someone to raise me some trout and salmon that would be great.  We will have fresh raw goats milk in a month, and cheese and ice cream.  I will be learning how to make yogurt, and have developed a connection for raw cow milk, so I can make our own butter.  Its such an exciting time for me and food.  I will know where 99% of our food is coming from, most of it right out of our own garden.  I really can't stop smiling about it, I am so excited.  This is one of the steps toward our long term goals for the farm...and everytime I look at the seed cataloge or look at a homesteading website I get really giddy...and when you are giddy about working your ass off, its a good thing...
Thank You all for checking out my blog.  I really really appreciate it...Check out our Facebook page.
Smiling Goat Farm on Facebook.  We are on a mission to up our likes and comments.
Best Wishes from your Friendly Female Farmer

Why Farming

Right now, while its near to or below zero degrees in most, if not all of Maine, I am seriously questioning my decision to farm.  Its only a passing thought though, especially as I am perusing the seed catalog cozied up to the wood stove in the dining room at night.  All kinds of people have asked me why farming? and it has gotten me to thinking about my decision to farm.  Farming doesn't make you a lot of money, it does however pay you in so many other forms
.  In regards to my farming choice, I have to say it goes back to being a kid.  Some of my earliest memories are of farming experiences.  For example, my parents and my uncle used to raise chickens for meat.  I can remember going over to their house, and while my dad and uncle were in the basement doing chores, the kids would lay on the floor upstairs and stare down through the big black grate in the floor at the peeping chicks.  Their little fuzzy bodies milling around in the what seemed like a giant homemade pen.  I can still recall the sound of the peeping down in the basement.  I can remember raising meat rabbits in the basement of our apartment building, and turkeys.  I recall, one ill fated chicken slaughter day.  My dad and his brother had raised some meat birds together, my mother and aunt did the cleaning of the hens in the kitchen, and the kids ran the headless chickens up from the coop to the house and shoved them through the window.  On this day, I saw my first headless chicken run around the yard, after being dropped by one of the kids hauling it to the house.  I am pretty sure I screamed.  Seeing a headless chicken run is quite a scene.  I remember the call to Dad, to see if he wanted to bottle feed a baby piglet.  The runt of the litter was being pushed out, and Dad having a reputation as a softie when it came to animals in need, set out to bring the piggie home.  I can remember the box in the living room with the little piglet in it.  These reasons and many others like it are why I want to farm.  There is something to be said about raising your own food, working the land and seeing your root cellar full to the brim with a bounty that you had a hand in producing.  I feel like being a farmer will continue to mold me into a more caring and understanding human being.  When you have a farm and raise animals, on a everyday basis you deal with a range of emotions and situations.  During kidding you have real highs, and super duper lows, the key is to take the experience for what it is and move on.  Don't dwell on the sadness of a death, or live birth.  Be thankful that you have more good than bad.  You have the highs of the first bits of spinach poking out of the dirt, and the first cherry tomato coming ripe.  The lows of a drought or an onset of disease or bugs.  The circle goes round and round, but in the end its probably one of the most rewarding things I have ever done.  I think I am really appreciating it more and more, especially this winter.  My husband has challenged me to put away most, if not all of the food we will need to get through the winter next year.  My heart is a flutter at the challenge, as I know its a daunting one, but it is my intention to come through with my end of the deal.  The thought of potato bins and boxes of apples, canned meat and veggies in the root cellar, frozen goodies and cold frames for the freshest of produce when we want it.  I am beyond excited to get started. So for me, this has been part of my makeup since I can remember, I continue to daydream about the picture perfect little farm in hopes that someday I will see a photo spread and write up of my farm in Hobby Farming Magazine.  I am practicing the art of being thankful, and feeling abundant and those feelings come so much more often in the midst of a farm and growing and producing your own food.  So folks, be thankful, for even the tiniest of moments in your life, you never know where it might bring you, or what feelings or passions it may bring to the surface.  Never forget where your food comes from, buy fresh and buy local.  You could be getting your food from...............
the friendly female farmer...

Thanks so much for reading, and I will chat with you again soon.

Blogging is harder than it looks....

Really, seriously...this is harder than it looks, or sounds, or seems...however you look upon this endeavor I have undertaken, its not a really easy task.  First off, It is not my intention to try an influence anybody who reads this blog.  For example, I don't write about politics or religion.  My beliefs are my beliefs, and I honestly feel as though that you my readers are not affected by what I do or believe.  I don't want to offend people or upset them, so I have really been  sticking to positive, upbeat and comical type blogs simply as entertainment.  It would be my intention to make people as happy as I can by reading this silly little missive.  This is also the place that I talk about my dreams for the future, and where I discuss options for the farm, and how we will proceed with our goals. This blog is about who I am, and what I intend to do with my future as a farmer, as a chef, as a wife and hopefully someday soon a mother.
This is my first blog since arriving home from Ireland.  That experience has touched me in a way that is hard to explain.  I will not deny my homesickness while I was there.  I honestly wanted to come home early and just say hell with it.  I am so glad that I didn't, because I got to have some incredible adventures, meet some fascinating people and friends I will have for life to be sure.  I in all honesty am now homesick for Ireland.  I could go back and never leave.  Its a wonderful country, one I will not soon forget.  While I have been home, lots of things have happened.  Mostly lots of thinking about my recent past experiences, and how I am going to move into the future as a farmer and a chef.  I know you have heard me talk about this subject before, and by all means if you are bored...move onto another blog...however, I have been told that if you want to see your dreams come to be a reality, you have to talk about it.  To as many people who will listen to you.  To think about your goals in a positive way, to think as if these dreams are currently reality.  So this is my intent.  To talk about what it is that I am passionate about, what makes me tick and how I intent to make these dreams come true for me and my husband, and our little piece of heaven in Casco.  So as things begin to move forward, I will share all the excitement.  My first really exciting step toward acquiring the title of Chef, will be partnering with a local bed and breakfast to do intimate dinners and small parties.  I am so excited to step forward into this new role, that will most definitely bring me closer to the dream of having a little gathering place at the farm...Please stick with me folks.  I am so proud to say that over 2300 people have viewed my blog and I am thrilled that the interest seems to keep going up.  Please share with your friends and family and please by all means post comments.  I would love to hear your feedback.
In positivity....Your friend....
the friendly female farmer.

Reflections...

The sun is coming up here in Ireland....I am having a glass of tea, and watching the sky change color...at this very moment, its a bit pink and dusty....and always changing, soon it will be a steel blue with not a cloud in the sky.  That is how a lot of mornings have started out here...honestly the weather hasn't been to bad.  I am thankful it hasn't rained every day.  On this quiet morning, two days before I head home for Maine, I can't help but reflect on my time here.  3 months ago I got here, after what seemed like endless travel, and I honestly thought I wasn't going to make it.  I definitely had moments of self doubt.  Why had I come here, why did I leave my husband and family...my farm animals and pets?  I considered going home early.  Then I would think about it and the guilt and self doubt would start all over again. What would people say if I came home early and worse than that, what would I say about myself.  Well thinking about it now, having stayed for the duration, I am sure I would have said a lot of swear words...I didn't give in to the blinding homesickness or the worry about the things getting done in my absence.  I simply needed to let go and think about myself and how much this experience was going to change me.  All in a good way mind...

Lets just say this, it hasn't been a bed of roses the whole time.  I have made some incredible friends though, and that makes up for all the wackyness I had to experience.  Aside from the young Irish peoples antics, I have gotten to see an incredible country, and talk to some wonderful folks.  I have seen things, I thought I would only see in pictures on the internet.  The vistas and scenery here are indescribable sometimes, breathtaking and slightly overwhelming.  Ireland is a very romantic country, where I am sure the legends and fairy tales are true.  I have found my sight and openness to be affected, and honestly believe I have seen the little people.  As it rolls on to the last days of my adventure here, I am torn between wanting so badly to go home to see Frank and staying here and never leaving.  I can see myself living in a tiny cottage with fields surrounded by beautiful stone walls, farming to my hearts content, drinking tea and hooking the cart to the horse to head to the pub for a pint.  I have set aside a little place in my brain and heart for this trip, simply because it has been so amazing.  I know I will come back with Frank to stay for a vacation, to show him what I have seen and go adventuring to new places with him.  How could I not come back, its like this place is part of me now.  I have an Irish Fairy godmother...who I will never forget, thank the sweet baby jesus there is internet and emails, because I am not sure how I would go on without being able to chat with her now.  I only wish I had more time with her.  I am so incredibly thankful that our advisor said, hey there is a beer class you can take....forever changed my life it did..oh and I learned a ton to...So all in all this whole 3 months has been simply incredible....I won't say goodbye Ireland, I will simply say see you soon...because I won't be gone forever.  

Academic and Personal Excellence.....On the brink of my own discovery!

Lets start this blog with the fact that up until very recently, I was not the best student.  I have never been formally tested for a learning disability.  I do however believe that I am one of those students that does not excel, in the normal, status quo learning environment.  I am a tactile learner, I like to touch things and feel the process of learning....I think this is one of the reasons I have excelled at cooking.  Why I am a passionate gardener, love to draw and being a farmer and working with animals is such a comfort to my psyche.  I really enjoy doing things with my hands.  The reasoning behind this blog is mostly because in the past few years I have been nothing but successful.  In all forms of my educational adventure.  Meaning that not only have I gotten exceptional grades, but I have learned life lessons in the process of getting those grades. Teaching is a very honorable profession.  I honestly believe that one day this will be my very own destiny and I hope to make an impact on my students in the way that the teachers that I can look back upon have impacted my life and education.  My former educational years were very much a struggle for me. Looking back at it now, I don't honestly have much memory of anything good....Its very sad.  I had very low self esteem, I was bullied and teased.  I didn't get the best grades and I passed most of my classes by the skin of my teeth.  So looking back, I have to wonder if I would have been better off, being home schooled or put into a different type of learning environment?  Then the next question might be,  where I might be today instead of where I am.  At this point I wouldn't want to be anywhere else honestly.  I know one thing for sure, I want to continue on with educating myself on lots of different subject, in the hopes that I can share with others who are interested in those same subjects.  See it seems to me that you must have a passion for anything that you do in life.  Your passions must motivate you to excel.  I believe that certain people will come into your life to show you the way to achieve your goals, and honestly it hasn't been till the very recent part of my life that those people have come forward.  This again brings me to the thought of "What if"....What if those people had been present in my very young life?  Yet the past is the past and we are living for this moment and the moments that come after it, learning from the past yet not dwelling on it.  I have learned great lessons from my past. One of the lessons I have learned it to ALWAYS believe in yourself.  No matter how many people tell you, that you CAN'T.  That you are not college material ( actually said to me by my high school guidance counselor ), that you can't play college level basketball, ( by my high school basketball coach ) that you can't do this or that....that you don't have the intelligence for one career path or another.....I may not have gotten to the first string of the team, but I would have given my very best effort to support my team...and just so you know I am college material, my success have shown that.  Not everyone is cut out for college right out of high school, the drop out rate and amount of alcohol poisoning shows us that.... Some people like myself who are told that they CAN'T do things take that notion very seriously and believe it for many years....Until the most amazing supportive people come into your lives and change your belief systems a bit.  The people that show you, and tell you that you can and will succeed and becoming the someone you always dreamed you could be.  5 or 6 years ago I would have never thought I would be in this place....Sitting in an apartment in Ireland, a George Mitchell Peace Scholar, having graduated with Honors from college.  I have successes beyond my wildest dreams, because I had people who loved and supported me and actually believed that I could do it.  Who didn't say I couldn't...but said I could if I simply believed in myself.  Those people will always be in my memory cheering me on, no matter where I am in my life.  I chose now to forget the people who said that I couldn't.  Because I have been touched so intensely by teachers and educators lately, I just want them to know how appreciative that I am.  The role has been taken up by not only your typical educator, but by friends, family and loved ones.  So very simply I say thank you.  For seeing in me, what it took me a bit longer to see....I love you all and appreciate every last bit of effort!  I will not forget and intend to pay it forward.  

the friendly female farmer. 

Live without regrets...and always say I LOVE YOU!

So I have started this blog a few times now looking for just the right way to express my emotions.  This is a truly heartfelt bit of words and I want them to have the proper affect.  

Considering my work load is not over extensive here in Ireland, I have had an incredible amount of time to think.  To look back at my life, access it..take from it what I will and move on to the next thing.  Yet I always seem to come back to the same notion.  The love and appreciation for the people that mean the most in our lives.  Missed opportunities and regrets.  As for the love and apprecition part.  I honestly can't say enough, how very important it is for you to say I love you, to your spouce, your children, your parents and grandparents....or your bff for that matter.  Some people have a hard time saying it, other have a hard time accepting the words, but the gesture and the meaning can be really profound.  Consider this.....It may be the very last time you say them.  Think about that for just a moment.  You will NEVER again be able to tell that person...whom you in fact love very much, that you do...NEVER in this physical world will you say it.  I am not sure about you, but I just got very emotinal.  So that means everybody, take the time to get in contact with your loved ones and say it.  Make an effort to make things better if they are not the best.  Those three little words can make someone the happiest they have ever been...and you have given very minimal effort...

Missed opportunities and regrets cloud my emotions, especially in regards to loved ones.  Yet after this cathartic blog, I intend to move forward with no regrets and never to miss another opportunity offered to me.  One of my biggest regrets is not getting to know my Pepere St. Pierre.  Granted, its a shame, I couldn't have been older and wiser while he was in the prime of his life.  To sit and talk to him about what it was like to have a very large family and what it took to feed and cloth that family.  The work ethic that man had, has runneth over into his children and I see it in my father every time he comes to help us do something at our farm. The blood is strong, and I am thankful that it has passed down into my body as well.  My pepere saw and experienced hardships that I can only begin to imagine, but persevered, and became a well established man in his community.  I just remember being scared to death of him.  He was a big man, and kind of gruff...at least that was my  perception.  I do believe he was a teddy bear on the inside, who very dearly loved his wife and children and the brood of grandchildren...The thing I regret about our lack of relationship is that I could have learned so much from him.  Especially when it came to farming.  I am the only one in a very large group of grandchildren who has chosen farming as a career path, so his knowledge would have lived on through me, and passed on to hopefully my children someday.  Yet I missed the opportunity because other things at the time seemed more important to me.  Selfish child like behavior and thoughs have denied me the moments it would have taken to talk to this wonderful man and hear his stories.  So for the rest of mylife I will have to take his guidance as its given, in my head and in my dreams.  

So I guess what I am saying is, in this month with all the thankfulness going on, take a moment and actually honestly think of what you are truly thankful for.  For the people, your family who have molded your life, given you goals to strive to.  This blog is a definite

reminder that I still have one grandparent who is living,  My pepere's wife Jane, and I must take every opportunity to get to know her better and spend time with her before she decides its time to go be with her husband.  So don't live with regrets, take a hold of your life and all that its given you and say Thank You.  Make the most of every relationship you are given the opportunity to experience.  I will from this very moment, live without regrets and take my opportunities where they are given.  

Thank you!  I love you all for taking the time to read this.  I hope you go out today and make someones day by saying those three little words.  

the friendly female farmer..........

Homesickness....Its all relative!

Lets just say that I have been a little homesick....I've mentioned this in posts on Facebook and have had lots of keep your chin up comments...Please don't take me missing home as being unappreciative of my opportunity.  I ask you to all, walk in my shoes for a minute and get the thought out of your head that this experience is a "incredible vacation with nothing but excitement around every turn"...because that is just not the case.  In all seriousness, 85% of the time Kori and I are in our rooms, perusing Facebook, twitter, pinterest and YouTube...to simply occupy our brains from utter boredom.  We go for walks to see our Irish horses...and when we go out to the city we have a blast, and when we go on adventures we also really enjoy ourselves.....Getting away from the dorms is key....Otherwise this leaves lots of time to be inside your own head.  Thinking about all the things that are going on at home, that you feel like you are missing out on...I know there is always next fall, but it just seems so far away...
In all honesty, the homesickness is in regards to my husband.  I knew this was going to be hard being away from him..but I didn't realize how much.  I have thought about our relationship so much over this initial time that I have been here.  Its given me time to reflect.  Its interesting now to me,  to think of the fact that somehow I have always wanted him, ...from the very beginning of our relationship years ago when I first went to the farm.  Now we are together, but separated and it is very difficult, because I feel like he is a part of me physically.  So it causes me pain to miss him, to be away from him.  Counting down the days on my desk calendar seems to help.  Talking to him on Skype helps even more...but its all relative in comparison to others out there who might be experiencing homesickness, or missing loved ones or what have you.  I say this because my friend Holly Witt has just recently lost her husband.  Tragically lost him...in such a way,  knowing how I love Frank, I'm not sure I could be as strong as she has been.  She is blogging through the pain and letting us all in to see her raw emotions.  Every time I read it, though its inspirational, I cry...as if it was my husband that has died...because the pain is so real and honest.  I feel like I really should pull up my big girl panties and move forward, because soon this trip will be over and I will get to run and hug my husband at the airport...Holly only has photos and memories of the man of her dreams.  Because she is so strong, because she is amazing in letting us into her life, I feel stronger and feel as if I owe it to her to be that way.  This is only temporary pain for me....not for her however...and everyday she moves on and says something wonderfully inspiring via Facebook.  So I miss home, I miss my husband! But because of HOlly's blog I feel stronger and can't possibly thank her enough for letting us see what she is going through with the blog.  She is an inspiration....truly....and I love her for it......So Thank you Holly Witt!  Love and Hugs from Ireland...
the friendly female farmer!

Obviously American.......

So far in our adventure here in Ireland, we have met two other "American's"  Granted they are from Canada, but for most of the folks here in Ireland that is close enough, kinda like Maine...I get a lot of the "oh yeah, that's Boston right".......I cringe a bit and say...close enough...hahahhahaaha...There is a large group of Brazilians and some French students......the French students we are slowly getting to know..the Brazilians are a harder group to break into...
But our american accents...and at that our very Mainer accents stands out heavily....I can't begin to count the times we have been asked..."Where are you from", like its not blatantly obvious...  we are then asked where we have gone sight seeing and then told places we should go..This has mostly been from our lively and entertaining cab drivers... More often than not that advice includes a bar or two....We have been to a few and they are all wonderful......I am not sure 3.5 months here is going to be enough to see all the incredible scenery that Ireland has to offer, or get to all the pubs for a pint.... but we are going to give it our best shot.
Camera toting, and umbrella wielding could also be good signs that we are not from around these parts....Most if not all that I have seen go around bare headed, or with a slicker with a hood....I have seen a few little old ladies with there very nice umbrellas out, but the youngins brave the mizzle.  Lets just say its a dang good thing my hair is naturally curly...Not going to get much sexy straight hair here in Ireland. Every time we attempt it, the mistiness of the day curls the little hairs around my ears and then its all over....
Though we are very very far from home, and homesickness has been prevalent, at least for me.  We are slowly beginning to develop bonds with our Irish friends.  Mark our bartender and the bouncer Dave at our little Pub in our building are wonderful.  Both will be receiving
 invites to our Thanksgiving celebrations.  For there friendship and wonderful advice....
The incredible staff at CIT, we have had nothing but the run around since we got here and through it all Carmel has been there, to reassure us that it would all get straightened out.
 Because of my success at school back in the US, I have been offered a student teaching position, or student assistant position, however you would like to put it in two classes...A very big deal for me.
So one little success after another keeps happening.....all due to the belief that positive comes from positive...Yes I miss my husband and family, sometimes I just want to go home and say hell with it all....but I know in my heart that would be giving up on something so incredible, I would feel regret the rest of my days.  

Yesterday Kori and I set out on an adventure all by ourselves...We went to Blarney Castle and kissed the infamous stone of elouqence.....The grounds were breathtaking and I was transformed into a medievel maiden, Wishing my heart out on the wishing steps and leaving my sacrafice on the witches stone....For a few hours I don't think I even really touched the ground I was so happy.....Life is a gift and I am happy to receive.....So thank you Universe..and George Mitchell......