Reflections...

The sun is coming up here in Ireland....I am having a glass of tea, and watching the sky change color...at this very moment, its a bit pink and dusty....and always changing, soon it will be a steel blue with not a cloud in the sky.  That is how a lot of mornings have started out here...honestly the weather hasn't been to bad.  I am thankful it hasn't rained every day.  On this quiet morning, two days before I head home for Maine, I can't help but reflect on my time here.  3 months ago I got here, after what seemed like endless travel, and I honestly thought I wasn't going to make it.  I definitely had moments of self doubt.  Why had I come here, why did I leave my husband and family...my farm animals and pets?  I considered going home early.  Then I would think about it and the guilt and self doubt would start all over again. What would people say if I came home early and worse than that, what would I say about myself.  Well thinking about it now, having stayed for the duration, I am sure I would have said a lot of swear words...I didn't give in to the blinding homesickness or the worry about the things getting done in my absence.  I simply needed to let go and think about myself and how much this experience was going to change me.  All in a good way mind...

Lets just say this, it hasn't been a bed of roses the whole time.  I have made some incredible friends though, and that makes up for all the wackyness I had to experience.  Aside from the young Irish peoples antics, I have gotten to see an incredible country, and talk to some wonderful folks.  I have seen things, I thought I would only see in pictures on the internet.  The vistas and scenery here are indescribable sometimes, breathtaking and slightly overwhelming.  Ireland is a very romantic country, where I am sure the legends and fairy tales are true.  I have found my sight and openness to be affected, and honestly believe I have seen the little people.  As it rolls on to the last days of my adventure here, I am torn between wanting so badly to go home to see Frank and staying here and never leaving.  I can see myself living in a tiny cottage with fields surrounded by beautiful stone walls, farming to my hearts content, drinking tea and hooking the cart to the horse to head to the pub for a pint.  I have set aside a little place in my brain and heart for this trip, simply because it has been so amazing.  I know I will come back with Frank to stay for a vacation, to show him what I have seen and go adventuring to new places with him.  How could I not come back, its like this place is part of me now.  I have an Irish Fairy godmother...who I will never forget, thank the sweet baby jesus there is internet and emails, because I am not sure how I would go on without being able to chat with her now.  I only wish I had more time with her.  I am so incredibly thankful that our advisor said, hey there is a beer class you can take....forever changed my life it did..oh and I learned a ton to...So all in all this whole 3 months has been simply incredible....I won't say goodbye Ireland, I will simply say see you soon...because I won't be gone forever.