Oh...the times, they are a changing....

Imagine if you will,  someone with a lovely voice, singing the title to this blog post...close your eyes and listen.  With perfect pitch, inflection and balance...

Does it make you have the FEELS???   Is the tension in your chest and behind your eyes almost to much to bare? Building...building, like the crescendo of a song...  Do you feel an excitement pushing toward giddiness? The kind that makes you laugh till you cry uncontrollably...wondering what got you started on this blast of emotional quackery?
Hells yeah....Me too!!!
At this time in my life I feel a bit of both, I am just over 2 months away from my 40th birthday.  The life beyond that is a shiny new journal, blank pages....ready to fill....Literally so much can be written in that empty space, the potential is infinite, and I am sure that is what is causing the tension and the giddiness.

Honestly, I feel like I am about to jump off the biggest cliff of my life.  Its terrifying, that feeling of being able to let go totally....my toes are curled over the edge just slightly, gripping on for dear life, breathing deep down into my stomach, I bend my knees, reach up to the heavens and jump, out into open air, into another aspect of my journey.

Change is a powerful entity in life.  I know that my personality and lifestyle is going to change dramatically in the next year or so, its all developmental. I am embracing my cocoon this winter, with anticipation of the spring.  I do not however  intend to overlook or undermine the process.
(I) Honestly never felt like I was ready before now, or deserving somehow. 
I have for much to long pushed down under my thumb the desire to be who I am. 
This all sounds very melodramatic, I mean I'm not about to come out or anything.....at least not as what you would expect.............

OK here goes.....I'm a FARMER and I am damned proud of it.  You know the Beth that is the happiest?  Farmer Beth, when I have to paint my fingernails to hid the dirt, that's when I am happiest,
As I look back, in my life, at this blog I see a recurring theme, pertaining to, interestingly enough my time in nature and love for a little thing called farming.  So why then have I pushed it to the back burner of my life, why has this love and passion not been in the forefront of all my scheming to move forward?

Fear...., a nagging feeling of unacceptance,  an all negative, soul sucking, bring you down to the the depths of hell, the fear of failing and the fear of hearing I told you so....Does this seem trivial and totally inconsequential in the grand scheme of things....maybe to you, but the struggle is real inside my head most days.  Its a dream killer Fear, I have called it out to duel and I intend to hit my mark dead center, striking it down.

Thanks for listening...

Thefriendlyfemalefarmer!

Much to long!!

Its been much much to long since my last confession...ahem...I mean of course, blog post!
Can I just say that life has been a bit crazy, unpredictable and just a plain ole shit show at times.  Hey I'm not making excuses, because I typically can't be bothered by others who do.  So I'm gonna pull the lazy card.  After working 10-12 hours in a restaurant, all I want to do is come home drink Jameson and throw my feet on the ottoman. 

But all those days of drinking the golden goodness, and sitting with me feet on the stool, I've been thinking about this damned blog.

I honestly feel like I have abandoned a live animal of sorts, a pet even, and I cannot tell you the guilt I have felt at the thought of all the blog followers I could have potentially captured and all the millions of dollars I could have earned with AD Words....ha ha ha, ok so the second part of that sentence seems a tad redick if ya know what I mean, but a girl can dream can't she.  In all honesty though, I have felt a bit lost without my little friend and the small musings that I did, on a semi regular basis. 

I'm not going to make any silly challenges that I can't live up to.  I am simply going to write. My lack of grammar and punctuation be damned.  I am going to look into a writing class though...to spruce up my skills if you will. I do have a secret little dream of one day writing a story...one that has been in my head since I was a kid. Well I guess its not a secret now is it.  :)
So instead of feeling guilty, and walking by the computer every night in search of some mind numbing TV show, I am going to write, here on this blog and in my big black book.  There is something very soothing about writing in a big book, seeing your hands put down what your mind is reeling to tell...

Oh and there is so much to tell, and talk about and question.  I have tried in the past to stick with very neutral...easy to digest....Beth related topics.  I will likely stay close to that this time around as well, with a bit of spice thrown in here and there.  That's just the chef in me I guess.
Consider this...my husband and I have been running a small diner in Bethel, ME for the last year and 2 months.  I have experienced so so so much in that time, and have learned even more.  One thing I have learned is when and where my opinion is given is totally up to me.  I am in control of my own mouth, but I also have a right to my opinion and sometimes....sometimes I might say it out loud, instead of just think it to myself...you get my drift? My intention is always positive, and I won't be looking to stir the pot! But sometimes you just gotta say what you gotta say...consequences be damned.

So welcome back if you've been here before....and a big HOWDY to those that haven't...

I remain always...the friendly female farmer!!!

Crying over spilled milk and broken pto's.......

In the daily life of a farmer, you can be damned sure something will bring you to the brink of tears.  I say this from the perspective of a female farmer of course.  I haven't seen my male farmer friends crying, but I have seen a few wrenches, buckets and hay forks fly through the air in my vicinity...

Its all very romantic to think about farming and the joys it can bring.  The reality though is often very different.  I am not sure if its the universe is giving us a test to see if we can cut the mustard or tow the line as a farmer.  I know I have cried through a few of those tests, and come out on the other side of it smiling.  Yet in the moment, the only thing to do for me is just to let it out.  

I think back to my very first experience milking my very own goat.  Shana was a sweet goat, who I loved very much...She stood on the stand, feet nicely planted eating her sweet feed like a champion.  My hands were unaccustomed to the task, and for the first 6-10 minutes, I just couldn't get that dang teat to produce any milk.  Shana just looked around the corner of the stanchion at me and grinned...I could actually hear her  mocking me...

Finally I just let it come, the tears just flowed down, I rested my forehead against the side of my new goat and cried and cried...you know the ugly kind of crying.....ya that kind.....

It was just what I needed to do,  it helped to release Shana's milk. The stress and lack of self esteem in my chosen task definitely didn't help my attempts, but after a good cry, we moved on.  I did finally get my hands to work and we got a nice warm pint of goats milk to show for it.  Through out the years of homesteading and farming I have had many moments that were ladden with tears.  I think for me it helps to move past the current crazyness that is happening.  It allows you to take that moment, see it for what it is and step away with a fresh view of your task.

I even cried because I couldn't pound in a nail.  It just didn't want to go into the wood for me, and I took that as a major affront to my nailing abilities...and when the men folk are giggling about your situation it only makes it worse.  Cried...YUP and I am pretty sure I threw the hammer.  After my little fit, I nailed nails with the best of em.  

Each situation is different, some so crazy and frustrating you just have to cry...others a toss of the handy tool will suffice. 

There is a lesson to be learned here.  Sometimes you just can't help but get to the place where tears or throwing things is the only way to fix it.  Yet if we simply take a moment to be present in our daily lives we will be able to recognize that our situation is beginning to reach toward frustration. Take your time, breath....Let the negative go.......and look to the positive that will ultimately be your outcome. Smile and be thankful you are here to have these experiences. 

So there ya go peeps...cry, throw things, scream shout and swear...but in the end know you will make it through and it will all be fine...you can always pour another glass of milk.....

Ohhh...the times, they are ah changin!

Man is that an understatement!  First and foremost, I have disappointed myself and probably some of the people who had been following this blog, by dropping the blog ball...I shall make no excuses, life just got in the way.  I am not sure how people like Ree Drummond ( Pioneer Woman ) do it.
Thinking back over the months I have been away from writing, had I just done a bit of it the times I was thinking of doing it, I may just have fell into something totally inspiring and wonderful.  Instead I was just day dreaming of writing, and did some other task, I felt more worthy of my time. Usually some menial, unsatisfying task.  I had a guilty nagging feeling the whole time I was gone however...Somehow something felt missing.  Mostly because I like this whole blog thing..I get to feel and act and write silly things. Who wouldn't like to do that.
So NO PROMISES!  NO CHALLENGES! I am simply going to live my life...and hope that I can sneak in a bit of time to get my thoughts and observations down.  I should roll this into the "making more time for me" list, but somehow it makes it feel more like a task I need to get done, than going with the daily flow.

As we approach the end of 2014, like most everyone else, I am taking a moment to look back over it and appreciate the moments, the friendships made, the fun times had and smile in the glow of those experiences.  I have oh so much to be thankful for, and feel lucky to be going forward to another year, with a Man I love and adore and couldn't be happier with.

You see...as the title of this blog states, the times have changed big time for us.  Our beloved farm in Casco is no longer, due to circumstances beyond our control, we had to move.  Moving is a very difficult and stressful situation for all involved, and as many times as we have moved in the last few years, this time did not come any easier.  Imagin moving the stuff in a bedroom farm house and the contents of a barn to another location an hour away in the winter...WICKED GOOD TIMES YESSA!

 Yet in all this crazyness, we have found peace.  A calm has come over us, that is different than we felt at the farm in Casco.  Our new location is a farm as well, surrounded by reaching mountains, and stretched out hay fields...it felt like home the second I saw it.

Even though there are still a few trips left to be made, and somethings that will simply have to wait till spring, we have made our home in Bethel.  It is my intention to stay for a very very very long time....

Until next time Ya'll

the friendly female farmer

Summah..In Maine....

Now I am not complaining by any means, In fact I won't even utter a word of complaint in regards to the weather this early spring and beginning of summah...We have gotten a bit of rain and a bit of heat.  I do look forward to more heat..and less rain, but still not complaining.  I am sure we will have plenty of wonderful weather days to go adventuring this lovely state.  Tomorrow we will be doing a touristy get away and will be parking our butts in the sand down at OOB.  Lets hope for a sunburn and a buzz on, both of which I am sure will happen....
Maria and I have been so far keeping a pretty low profile as she gets settled into her American home.  She has found employment while she is here and is getting to know the local way of things.  Its wonderful having her here, and I wish she could stay forever....But I will be sure to follow her to the Caribbean when she opens her livery stable.
So needless to say, we have been busy some days and others not so much.  There are some days you just need to chillax and enjoy your surroundings....

On another farm note, we have the first two baby goats of the summer on the ground last Friday.  I am always a bit nervous during kidding, I don't get much sleep, up at all hours checking the Doe's.  I love these silly little animals, they continue to put a smile on my face on a regular basis and I am happiest in there presence.  You just can't beat an animal that will come up to you, rub there face on yours and sit down beside you for a snuggle.  They are wonderful little animals.  We have one more set of kids to come and I am a mess waiting...Just hurry up about it Shana Goat and everyone will be resting easy..especially me.

The udder on both girls looks as if they will be producing plenty of milk for kids and humans alike...I am so looking forward to the first batch of fresh goats milk ice cream.

Enjoy each moment that is given to you...Be present in your life...You never know what you might miss otherwise...

thanks...and see ya'll soon.
thefriendlyfemalefarmer...

I need a holiday from my holiday weekend.....

So its been 5 days since my last confession...ahem...I mean blog...
the days are all kinda jumbled together at this point, but I can tell you this...things got checked off the honey do list.
See I have these lists...usually the one for me is outrageously long...some with definition of my intention with the task, sometimes just the task itself.  This list typically consists of things I can do without a man.
Now don't get me wrong. I am sure I could do all these things, had I been trained properly from the beginning...but being a girl, and brought up in a time that girls are still doing girly things...I didn't take shop or automotive class, or touch the power tools to much when I was younger.  I have a healthy fear of power tools, so I tend now not to use them much...minus the power drill, I love that thing....if only I could screw everything together without every having to cut anything I would be set...NO man needed...well except for lifting heavy shit....but then of course I could get a bunch of girls over here and we could get that done to.
Total rant...and Take note...teach your girls how to do man stuff.....like change oil, tires, and use power tools safely...
Anyhoooooo....My dad came for the weekend to help me with my new chicken coop, we moved the girls into the barn in preparation for the winter months around here, and because my coop is to small for the amount of birds that I want.  We laughed a lot and worked our butts off, but now the girls have a groovy indoor coop...Now if they can just figure out to lay their eggs in the nesting box, we will be golden.
We drank and ate, and ate and drank and just generally had a great weekend.
The hubby and I worked on the yard on sunday afternoon in the beautiful sunshine.  We burned some brush and moved some fencing, this place is starting to come around.  Its such a beautiful spot.
Spring cleaning was next on the list for me yesterday, I moved some furniture around and dusted, swept and washed floors in 4 of the 5 bedrooms..OH didn't I mention this place is a monstrosity....
We are now 2 days away from the Irish Invasion and I am so excited I can barely stand myself...I am going to have a wicked go gal pal to adventure with and I just can't wait....You will be sure to have lots of picks and adventure stories to check out this summer to be sure....
So there you are a quick recap of the last few days...its been real...its been fun....its been real damn fun...
Have a great day peeps and see ya soon...
the friendly female farmer...

Monday and Tuesday......

SWEET....2804 Views of this crazy little blog...I am overwhelmed with excitement and gratitude for everyone who takes a moment to check it all out...

Soooooooo...what have we been doing here at the farm...MOWING...mowing and more mowing...did I mention that I have been mowing...My brain is all rattly from running that bush hog/lawn mowery type piece of equipment that we use to keep the bamboo from over coming the property...

I have this problem, with not being able to stop once I start.  I want our farm to be pretty, to be beautiful to look at, and enjoy while you are here.  Everything just looks nicer mowed, thats all there is to it...and Yes I have palpitations when I mow over the little violets and violas, I mowed down some jack in the pulpits before I figured out there was a whole patch, that I now need to dig up and move to a better, non mowing location...but because I am mowing, I am able to find these things, that can be saved and moved to a location they will be loved and cared for....

See this is what happens when old farms are not cared for and loved...do you know how many people have stopped and said, "oh did you know there used to be such and such plant here, or this used to grow on this property"....sadly, lots of plants are now gone, and some so lacking in care, such as the fruit trees, all need to come down and replaced because they were not cared for.

It takes someone special to take on a place that was once a farm.  Not only do you find treasures below the deep grasses, but you find junk as well...So we will concentrate on the good things we find, and toss the junk into the dump pile...continue to mow...and bring this place back to life...

Thanks for check me out...all the best to you on this foggy day...I'm off to dig fence posts...